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Thread: Do you have a testy neighbor story to share ( Updated latest action)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    GTA Ontario Canada
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    12,251

    Do you have a testy neighbor story to share ( Updated latest action)

    Hi All

    I have just spent and exciting time reading Stu from Japans long rennovation thread. Now I am up to date I plan to follow it with great interest.

    It dawned on me that I derieved a great deal of "comfort" from the knowledge that I was not the only one to have neighbor difficulties.

    Given I feel quiet agreeved about the whole neighbor thing i have had with my shop I thought it would do me some good to put my case out here and rant. No I am not seeing a shrink

    Well here goes......

    When I first moved into this house from South Africa, I promised myself that I was going to do everything in my power to have the most cordial relationship possible with my neighbors. I wanted to leave the past of South Africa and its social issues behind and start afresh. I also had a father who never got on with the neighbors only as a result of how they introduced themselves. He was old school very old school and boy that is another story.

    So with a new house and no fences (in South Africa it is not uncommon to have the highest fence possible and then add barbed wire to the top ala staglag hoven 5) it some getting used to living on top of each other. My Northern Neighbor as Stu refers to them, came to Canada 20 years ago from Vitenam. I thought this was really cool and an opportunity to get to know another people from a different part of the planet. Try as I did to get them to mix in at the street functions and social gatherings but nothing doing. The best he would offer was a comment on the weather either good bad or a shrug. Their daughter went to the same Catholic school as out older son so when Xmas time came we took them a few gifts and they reciprocated. All was bliss. We cut the lawn between us and he even played with my younger son when flying kites in the backyard.

    Then they approached me about building a fence between us. I said fine I would go along with them but just wanted them to know that the fence had to be done properly and by properly I wanted to see posts go down below the frost line. This is after all Canada and I had seen a number of fences the were heaving as a result of poor building.

    Against my own desires I decided in the interests of peace I would allow them to choose the contractor and would go along with paying half of whatever the quote came to if it was half reasonable.

    All was fine and we agreed on a guy to build the fence.

    The big day came when the fence had to be marked out and boy did they change. They then discovered much to their disappointment exactly where the property line was. I had no hand in this I just left it to the fence guy to be the conveyor of bad news. We had both been given the same survey plans to the property by the builders. The pegs were still in the ground and unfortunately the line was a a lot closer to their home than i think they had thought.

    Now to top it all they had ended up planting conifers all along the front border with out property but these were now way over in our property. They had not consulted us as to whether we wanted a hedge of conifers but when my wife realized they were about a foot over in our property she said to the neighbor they would have to move them over since they now have an idea of where the property line was. Bomb no 1.

    Then the guy starts to put the post holes in the ground with a tractor and a auger. Out comes all the garbage that the builders use to fill a lot before they skim over with top soil to hide it. Boy did we have building rubble come out of every hole.

    Well the evening after this little lot I get home and the neighbor approaches me and says " Rob we dont need the skid anymore, we can save $90 dollars each." I said we need to have the skid to take away the garbage. No he says we just throw it over the fence. Now for those of you that have not seen my shop picture posting, I live on a ravine. Whats more it has been declared a nature conservation area and is part of the famous Oak Ridges Moraine in Ontario Canada. Well I could not control myself and I saw red. Trying to keep cool I told the neighbor (who has been living here 20 years longer than me) the law did not permit this and I would not permit this just to save $90. Yeh...lets all dump our garbage where ever we like and end up living in an even more polluted world.

    Well I think Bomb No.2 was me not going along on this and boy you think I was forcing him into bankruptcy.

    Then I decided to go ahead with my shop http://familywoodworking.org/forums/...ad.php?t=10987

    and the second Vietnam War errupted along with Hanoi Hanna for those who know who she was.

    I have had the town building inspectors come down and read me the riot act over starting an industrial area after they approved my plans, I have had the Electrical Safety Authority inspector come out (nice guy I get on well with him) after I put conduits in between the house and the shop to run the electrical cable. I have had the by laws officer come out and check on me (more than once, each time I take something out to the shop) and I have been photographed and had abuse shouted at me when I have visitors sitting on my deck. (deck is at the rear of the house in front of the shop. They have written letters to all my neighbors (which the neighbors gladly called me and gave me) doing a real character assasination.

    In the end they have dulled what was a very exciting project and a dream workshop. Now I find myself feeling like a criminal when I go out into my backyard and enter my shop. I get watched as if I was a spy on the North Korean border.

    As we understood from them before the drama started they were going to sell up and move to Toronto as soon as the daughter finishes high school. As my calculations go that is by June 09. I hope those plans are still on.

    Yes my shop is large but the town approved the plans and I am well within the lot coverage and have all the neccessary setbacks etc.

    As far as view is concerned at the back of us there are large numbers of confiers that were replanted after all the moraine was regraded at the end of building. There is a stream in the middle and the conifers have already grown to the point where they are blocking the view. So neither of us has a view that we can complain is being obstructed by my shed.

    I am open to any suggestions from all the good folks out there as to how to fix this relationship as it really bugs me.

    Thanks for listening ( oops) reading my rant. Go ahead and post yours here or ideas you may have on fixing my problem. I will review all.
    Last edited by Rob Keeble; 12-30-2008 at 08:03 PM. Reason: moderation pointing out use of wromg word
    cheers

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Delton, Michigan
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    17,472

    Boy Rob!!!!!!

    i could start my novel here as well been there and am still doing that you wont win in my book. i havnt and i have fought this family since 74.. it gooes away for awhile then it comes back to bite me... the last session put a house right on the lot restrictions from my liner i had tried to buy the property prior to this happening several times and the darn witch wouldnt sell.. but she thought she owned more than she does walked out on to me to look at where she wanted this house and asked her what she was up to and she lied to me and said she was just looking fo rthe lot tlines and that she was on her property.. well i had the concrete orderd for the wknd and the stakes and escavation happened the day before...i darn near stopped it and sold out.. i was very pived andnow we get to listen to here and athe rst and start at ahouse in my back yard so i feel for you rob now enter in ti dont do the city life at all and to have neight i dislike very much move right in well nuff said..
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    37° 5'16.25"N 76°25'28.11"W
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    Ah, neigbors... Unfortunately situations like yours is exactly what happens when neighbor #1 has values, priorities, wants & desires that differ from neighbor #2.

    These situations often degrade to the point that one party (or both), start calling various authorities who they expect to take their side and declare the other side "wrong" so they can validate their opinion.

    As the guy that gets called to "fix the problem", I can assure you there is no easy solution. The bottom line is your trying to change someone's value system to meet yours, that's not going to happen very often if ever. Don't take this wrong Rob, but I can assure you your neighbor feels exactly like you do, except the problem is you, not him. Try extending an olive branch, I don't think you'll ever be best friends, but maybe a reasonable truce can be agreed on.

    Mike

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by M Toupin View Post
    Ah, neigbors... Unfortunately situations like yours is exactly what happens when neighbor #1 has values, priorities, wants & desires that differ from neighbor #2.

    These situations often degrade to the point that one party (or both), start calling various authorities who they expect to take their side and declare the other side "wrong" so they can validate their opinion.

    As the guy that gets called to "fix the problem", I can assure you there is no easy solution. The bottom line is your trying to change someone's value system to meet yours, that's not going to happen very often if ever. Don't take this wrong Rob, but I can assure you your neighbor feels exactly like you do, except the problem is you, not him. Try extending an olive branch, I don't think you'll ever be best friends, but maybe a reasonable truce can be agreed on.

    Mike
    hey mike, i tried that and un beknowns to me till afterwards, she had her guys cut down 2 small trees and then they dumped some of there brush and roots from making the yard purty on me!!!!! some day that dove that sat on the branch is gonna relieve himself
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Constantine, MI
    Posts
    7,890
    Well, my neighbors look like saints in comparrison!

    I think I'll keep my mouth shut on this one!
    Host of the 2017 Family Woodworking Gathering - Sunken Wood

    “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will.” - Chuck Palahniuk
    www.wrworkshop.com

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Bellingham
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    Quote Originally Posted by M Toupin View Post
    Try extending an olive branch, I don't think you'll ever be best friends, but maybe a reasonable truce can be agreed on.

    Mike
    I figure a nice thick olive branch extended a couple times to the right spot ought to do the trick!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    RETIRED(!) in Austintown, Ohio
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rennie Heuer View Post
    Well, my neighbors look like saints in comparrison!
    Mine, too!
    Jim D.
    Adapt, Improvise, Overcome!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    No, not all of SoCal is Los Angeles!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim DeLaney View Post
    Mine, too!
    And mine, thank goodness.
    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    - Arthur C. Clarke

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by glenn bradley View Post
    And mine, thank goodness.
    you guys are lucky for sure between me and chuck this could turn into a novel,, but we would need to have other words allowed cuz there aint no pictures.. this brings heat in the winter fer me..
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    ABQ NM
    Posts
    30,014
    I live on a cul-de-sac, and am very fortunate that none of the neighbors have a problem with me running a compressor, dust collector, and pneumatic sander at 3:00 AM. (I do close the garage door after about 9:30 PM, though, and once you get about 100' from the garage, the noise is not much louder than the typical hum of a city.) I have specifically told the nearby neighbors to let me know if the noise is ever a problem, and each time I bring it up, they insist that they can't hear me when they are inside their houses.

    Our neighbor to the south has dogs that like to bark right outside our bedroom window, though. We've had to go over there a number of times to ask them to stifle their dogs. When they're not home, the garden hose sprayed over the fence seems to do the trick. Nowadays, the dogs just need to hear me getting the hose ready, and they usually shut up.
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

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