Do you talk to your tools

Rob Keeble

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Location
GTA Ontario Canada
Hi all

No I have not been smoking any contraband ( I dont smoke) or drinking moonshine ( no still) but over the weekend I got to wondering how many other woodworkers talk to their tools like some gardners talk to their plants. I just finished re assembling my TS and talker to "her" all the way through. Dont know why its a her and it aint got no name but thats just the way it was.

Do you do the same.?:)
 
i seem to remember using a few choice phrases when my table saw tried to take off a part of my thumb a couple of years ago...:eek:

i don't talk to my tools for 2 good reasons, one, they might answer :rofl:
and two, memories of 2 movies, one being full metal jacket, where gomer pyle is talking to his m14 while cleaning it, and the other being christine, when arnie says "show me", and the car rebuilds itself... :eek:

not that i'm superstitious mind you, but when my dad asked me why i was throwing away a perfectly good, almost new table saw blade, i told him that its already gotten a taste of me, and i don't want it coming back for seconds... :thumb:

he seemed to understand...
 
Yes!

I have always talked to my tools, but I was once told that people who often work alone do. With the exception of my old railroading days,I always have had jobs where I worked by myself and thus I talk to everything.

Tools
Snowmobile
Tractor
Chainsaw, etc

Growing up on a dairy farm, for many, many years it was just me "and the girls" since they were dairy cows and thus female cows. To this day everything I talk to is of the female gender. For instance if I take a bit too much of a bite off with a hand plane, I might say, "Easy there young lady." Or if something looks really good, I might say,"You are prettier then a speckled heifer." Other tools get the same kind of treatment.

About the only thing I do wrong is, if things go really awry like tugging wood out with my tractor, I will call the tractor nasty names and yell at it, even though in the real world I was raised to never swear at a lady, nor yell at them. You see I am polite even if I am insane!
 
I might say,"You are prettier then a speckled heifer." Other tools get the same kind of treatment.

Oh gosh that made me think of my Dad! One of his favorites was when we saw a good looking girl (and Mom wasn't around) "look at that little heifer!":D and another one that just irked my wife was "pass the cow salve (butter)" at the dinner table:D:rofl::rofl: After being married for over 50+ years Mom just ignored him:):rofl:

I always talked to the cow when I milked them (hated milking cows) especially when I'd fall asleep on the stool with my head against their flank and they figured the machine had enough and stomped the cups off.:eek::D:D That's been a couple of years ago!

Listen to this old man ramble:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
Usually it's along the lines of " . . . you've got to be kidding me", "sweet!", or some moment of loud silence when i have a flood of explatives that i don't quite let fly.
I haven't had any bites taken out of me yet, so it's been pretty tame.
paulh
 
I do have a tendency to talk to my computer and other electronic equipment, but when I am working on projects, be it jewelry or would or something else, I have more of a tendency to talk to the project.
I have found that sweet talking generally produces a far better outcome than the alternative, though at times it does have to come to that ;)
 
I do have a tendency to talk to my computer and other electronic equipment, but when I am working on projects, be it jewelry or would or something else, I have more of a tendency to talk to the project.
I have found that sweet talking generally produces a far better outcome than the alternative, though at times it does have to come to that ;)

i doubt ned would agree:) or chuck either
 
I talk to mine, all the time. If I typed it out, it would look like this on this forum: ***** **** ****! ****, ****. ****!!
:eek:

Yeah that pretty much sums it up for me too. Have to watch my mouth sometimes. Then only times I talk to tools is to yell at them. I swear I really don't have an anger problem :) Other times I talk to stuff would be working on vehicles fixing them if something is being a pain but then I complete the task it's usually "Take that!" or "I win!" or "How do you like me now!?" :)
 
Talk to my tools? No. Besides, their vocabulary is limited, and their grammar is at best perfunctory... ;)

I do, though, talk to my self. A lot. He and I have plenty of arguments! I look at what I've just done, and say things like "William, are you really *that* stupid?" And the only honest answer is, of course, "Yes!" I mean, the proof is usually right there in front of me... ;)

Thanks,

Bill
 
Oh gosh that made me think of my Dad! One of his favorites was when we saw a good looking girl (and Mom wasn't around) "look at that little heifer!":D and another one that just irked my wife was "pass the cow salve (butter)" at the dinner table:D:rofl::rofl: After being married for over 50+ years Mom just ignored him:):rofl:

I always talked to the cow when I milked them (hated milking cows) especially when I'd fall asleep on the stool with my head against their flank and they figured the machine had enough and stomped the cups off.:eek::D:D That's been a couple of years ago!

Listen to this old man ramble:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Yeah this got me into trouble too now and then. My ex-wife had these big brown eyes, so when I fist met her I said,"You got cow eyes." She actually took that as an insult.:dunno:

In fact referring to the ladies in any sort of cow context is generally frowned upon. After 13 years or marriage with two different women, I leaned this.
 
Of Course!!! Otherwise, HOW would I EVER Find them?:rolleyes:

I try to always congratulate them when they do "EXACTLY" what I wanted them to do, (just don't want to have them Pouting when I really need them to perform well).:D

I TRY to not talk to myself, because that usually leads to some question about "MY" performance, and "SELF", being Extremely Honest AND.... not the least bit Tactful, most generally replies with answers that I DO NOT want to hear.:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
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