View Poll Results: What should I do with this headstone?

30. You may not vote on this poll
  • Take the headstone back to my shop and turn it upside down and useit as a surface block?

    9 30.00%
  • Try to scratchout Tina's name with a line, add a carrot and put in Patty all while using a scratch awl?

    4 13.33%
  • Just put down #1 Wife, a place for # 2 wife, a place for #3 wife, just so Patty feels there may be future competion and performs better as a wife in the here and now?

    6 20.00%
  • Every few months stick some duct tape over Tina's name and using permenate marker add Patty in the best penmenship that I can muster?

    3 10.00%
  • Keep the headstone and tell Patty "I always loved #1 more" and buy a different plot for Patty to rest in by herself?

    0 0%
  • Buy another headstone, this time adding Pattys name and epoxing them together so that Travis and Tina are now sandwiched between the two rocks confusing future geneologists 200 years from now whenthe epoxy fails?

    8 26.67%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Duct Tape on the Headstone

  1. #1

    Duct Tape on the Headstone

    Allen's post about death got me to thinking about a very unfortunate turn of events. As most everyone knows my sister was killed in a car accident a few years back and my parents were very distraught over the situation so I helped with the arrangements. (Hold on, this is NOT the unfortunate turn of events)

    Now everyone knows I am cheap, and while its pretty cold to do scheming at such times, I just felt compelled to save a little money while doing the arrangements. Now I did not need enough flowers to sink a battleship, but I do plan on dying someday so I figured I might as well go ahead and buy my 6 x 4 feet plot of soil that I will take up until a meteor vaporizes this planet. (Cemetery plot). Now its not to hard to realize that the Mrs. will ultimately die too, so while I was buying all this stuff,I sprung for a headstone: one for me and the Mrs and one for my sister...a two for one deal don't you know.

    Well that was fine until I got a divorce, so here is my problem. I got a very big, and wonderful stone that says Travis and Tina Johnson...the problem is, Tina is now sporting some other last name, and my new wife did not come with the convenience of having Tina as her first name. This leaves me in a pickle. I can do a few things I figure:

    Please vote on the following:
    Last edited by Travis Johnson; 03-07-2009 at 11:57 AM.
    I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Central NY State
    Travis- you left out option #7, the granite cutting chainsaw.... to delete the unmentionable other T word. This thread is too funny Travis.
    Last edited by ken werner; 03-07-2009 at 12:22 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Constantine, MI
    Could you convince wife #2 to change her name from Patty to Patina? Then you just have to add a couple of letters.
    Host of the 2017 Family Woodworking Gathering - Sunken Wood

    “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will.” - Chuck Palahniuk

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Thomasville, GA
    Exercising most of the options will ensure that you'd better have YOUR tombstone ready soon!!!
    Bill Arnold
    Citizen of Texas residing in Georgia.
    NRA Life Member and Member of Mensa
    My Weather Underground station

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Kansas City, Missouri
    I'd agree with Bill, so might just have it split down the middle so you can save Patty some money on yours.

    To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” – Robert Brault

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Oak Harbor Washington on Whidbey Island
    There is always cremation & scatter the ashes. then you don't need a plot & won't waste the space or the stone. Ashes to ashes dust to dust don't just lay around & rust.
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Kea'au Hawaii. Just down the road from Hilo town!
    You could take it back to Headstones R Us and see if they can grind both names off in a recessed rectangle then polish the floor of the recessed area. You then have a nice new surface to have your name engraved leaving Patty's off for now(just in case). Cost a little bit more than duct tape but will last until the meteor strikes!

    What goes around, comes around.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    new york city burbs
    10,188 post was about life expectancy, not about death!
    look at how many people found out they are going to live long productive lives.

    just bury yourselves from the waste down, you wont need any headstones.

    My wifes family owns 100 plots, not down to 88. Ive had my spot picked since I got married. Just a lovely thought isnt it?
    Last edited by allen levine; 03-07-2009 at 04:55 PM.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    if there's thing that ires me, it's funeral homes & cemetaries. it's bad enough that families go through painful heartaches during those times, but it's doubly worse to know that those 2 "businesses" play upon those emotions. there's absolutely no excuse for it to cost nearly 8 grand to bury a loved one...and thats' cheap in todays market. caskets costing 3-5 THOUSAND dollars OR MORE..pathetic. cement vault= $2500 locally. it's all BS and enrages me to no end. the local undertaker bought out all but 1 competetor, and closed 'em down. he's after the last one now. same goes for a plot of ground that will cost ya over 100K an acre if bought enough to cover 64580 sq ft...paaaa-leeeze.
    I'm for cremation.. but so many people are going that route, that even those cost have nearly tripled...
    it's just plain wrong... YMMV
    "Treat everyone equally,keep your word, and overlook peoples''ll make plenty yourself "..... spoken to me by a much wiser man than I.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Kea'au Hawaii. Just down the road from Hilo town!
    Touch a nerve James??? But I'm with you. I told my wife just dump me in a puka (hole) in the lava and walk away... it's a lot cheaper

    What goes around, comes around.

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