Hi everybody. Just a note from someone that is feeling a little blue right now and donít have a lot of friends over on this side of the ocean yet and no family here. So lucky you, you are going to be my family and friend for a whileÖ..
Iíve been married to the LOML (Cathie) for almost 14 years and in October of 2007 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After the first MRIís and CAT scans came in they found the cancer had already spread to the vertebra and pelvis. She had been having problems with her right eye as well but this was before the diagnosis, but part of the cancer. There was a tumor behind the eye, around the optic nerve and caused an awful lot of pain for her. It all made sense after we knew what she was fighting. She started an aggressive chemo and one of the good things was the tumor behind the eye went away but not before she lost the sight in it. Cathie has fought a hard battle in the last 19 months but we always knew what the out come was going to be. Cathie went through six months of treatments and went back to work part time (3 days a week) just to keep busy. Cathie was feeling pretty good as in the beginning the cancer markers in her blood was 847 and then went down to about 45, thatís almost high normal. Then about 5 or 6 months ago the markers started up again and back into chemo Cathie went, still working the 3 days a week. Cathie would go in for chemo on Friday so she could get over the initial sickness over the weekend plus Monday and then go to work for the rest of the week then start it over on Friday. She did this 3 weeks then have a week off and then back into it. After no change in the markers through two different kinds of chemo Cathie just couldnít go to work anymore. She loves the company and the people she works with but just couldnít do it anymore. This last Wednesday, we had an early call from here oncologist in Honolulu. We pretty much knew he wasnít going to have any good news. He then told us the disease had gone into the liver now and is a very aggressive and at best, maybe 6 months, most likely less. Cathie had already told me the Saturday before last, when I had come home from the remodel job that she was tired and didnít want to go on. She told me also that she told god to come and take her. Thatís when my world was shaken to the core. Yes, I knew it was going to come but when you actually have to face it, a Mack truck couldnít do more damage. We know have the support of Hospice and so far they are a great bunch of people. Today they made a special trip to the house to show me how to give Cathie the Morphine to help with the pain and to make suggestions to other kinds of help available. This is the one time Iím glad Iím not working an official job. I find helping Cathie with her daily needs, some of the things not done by Hospice, the best way to show my love for her. I just canít imagine turning that over to strangers. I just hope I have the strength physically and emotionally to keep it together to take proper care of her to the end. Like a lot of couples weíve had our ups and downs but Cathie was my best friend and will miss her terribly. To be frank Iím scarred to death about being by myself after all these years. Self pity, probably, but Iím not looking for pity or sympathy. I just needed someone to talk to and really, you are my family right now.
Sorry to post such a somber message. I just wanted to tell you about Cathie. She is a wonderful woman and wife and will be truly missed by me.