No britches. I don't want to risk browning them

There once was a merchant ship captain that was being chased by a pirate & as the pirate ship drew closed he sent for his cabin boy & said go get my red coat. In the ensuing battle the captain was wounded but the coat camouflaged the wound well enough that now one noticed & they won the battle. Several days later a call came down form the crows nest that there looked like there several ships astern on the horizon. As the ships gained on the merchant ship it was discovered the were all pirates vessels. The captain again call for his cabin boy & said boy go get my brown pants.