Does Your Spouse Really Like Your Projects?

Jim Young

Member
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507
Location
Northville, MI
Lately I've been seeing some really "unattractive" projects that people are making for their spouses and friends. I wonder if the spouses and friends really appreciate getting things or are they just humoring us. My wife will tell me right away if she likes somethign or not, no problem there. Am I the only one who looks at some of the pics and thinks yech? I'm sure that some of the stuff I make draws this reaction from others. Just wondering if others have these kind of thoughts.
 
Style wise, yeah, some things that others make I wonder about, but then again, I'm sure that some wonder about what I make.

Workmanship wise, no, I don't see a lot, if any poorly built things here.

I may not like the style of a particular piece, personally the Arts and Crafts stuff leaves me cold, but others just love it :dunno:

This does not mean that I cannot appreciate the hard work and skill that goes into a nice A&C piece of furniture.

We all have our likes and dislikes, I make what I like, if I don't like it, I'll not make it, but as I turn pro :rolleyes: I know that sometimes I'll have to bite my tongue and make stuff I don't like (style wise) but it will be built correctly, even if I don't like the style.

Cheers!

PS my lovely wife is honest with me too, some times she don't like what I make.............. but then again, what does she know.............. ducks and runs........... :D
 
Am I the only one who looks at some of the pics and thinks yech? I'm sure that some of the stuff I make draws this reaction from others. Just wondering if others have these kind of thoughts.

I have a firm policy of never commenting on others' project - good, bad or indifferent. I browse several forums, so nobody here ought to feel singled out. If I were to heap praise on stuff that really wow'd me and then say nothing about someone else's project it might raise questions in someone's mind. Even if it didn't, I would feel hypocritical about it.

Besides, there doesn't seem to be any shortage of people who can come up with something nice to say about even the nastiest work. Thank heaven for such folks, because I also plan to post some projects :)

That's my gutless position and I'm sticking to it !!
 
My wife's pretty honest with me about what she likes and doesn't like in regards to my projects. I think the people who've received my stuff as gifts appreciate them (and of course folks who've purchased things from me do, too), although some people I've met aren't impressed with the things I've made. Opinions, like people, are over the map.

On the forums, I don't hesitate to hand out accolades for excellent work, and also give out some attaboys for work that I may not be real fond of, but I can appreciate and acknowledge the work and effort that goes into making it. And of course there are some times when great work is displayed here and I don't say anything, but that's not because I don't like it. It's either because I've missed the thread, or I've been too busy to write a response.
 
I have wondered the same thing Jim. My wife and I love the Arts and Craft style. We built an new Old House in the cottage style. We had people give us 'things' for the house and you wonder if they have a clue about style or design because their gifts were not us. For that reason I am very careful about making something for someone without asking or knowing they will like it.

Everyone has different tastes. Stu said he doesn't like the A&C style and we just love it. He has said his wife loves Queen Ann. Doesn't do a thing for me or my wife. If I make something for someone I like to know their likes and dislikes before I make it. And I know not to make A&C for them.

I made a box I asked for opinions about on here. Most people didn't like it but I did. I was thinking of giving it to my Niece at Christmas but she is one that will say she likes it for fear of hurting your feelings. She spent some time with us and when she came down to the Lab I was showing her some boxes I had made. She didn't know she was picking hers out. :) Turns out she really liked the box no one else did so she got if for her Christmas gift from me. I just wasn't going to give her something she didn't like.

I have made things I was very proud of and latter realized it wasn't as good as I thought. I think we get caught up in our accomplishments and we are sometimes blinded by our pride.

Jeff
 
LOML is pretty honest with me, How I can really tell is how many new tools I can buy after each project. :D :thumb: I try to make 3D models and mock ups of pieces for the house before I make them, she's very honest about style before I begin work.

Stuart brings up a good point, there are two issues to look at, STYLE and WORKMANSHIP. I have seen many pieces that style wise I don't particularly care for (wouldn't have in my house), but still can drool over the beauty of the wood, craftsmanship and joinery. Workmanship is fairly well defined, style is in the eye of the beholder.
 
what`s the ol` saying about the cobblers kids having no shoes:eek: .....it doesn`t matter what i make for whom i get the same response...." when are you going to build something for home?".....you guys doing this for fun have alot going for you;) .......tod
 
Jim, if you didn't like the jewelry boxes I made you could have told me...:rofl:

Topic of the thread, does my spouse like my projects?

Yes, many times I make something I think I'll give away as a gift and WHAM! she lays claim to it. No biggie, she is very much a strong supporter of my endeavors. She has been the one to push me into this arena and see if I can make a few $$$ at, she is also the one who wants to see me buy any new tool (or used) that will help me accomplish that goal. If I were to buy all the things she thinks I need to excel in this business I'd have much more invested than I bought this house and 30 acres for.
She thinks I have the talent to do it, and she is my support.

About others projects?

Yeah as I'm reading the different projects and the way they are done, I'll give out compliments...they've earned them. I don't do it all the time, sometimes I think I'll comment later on after reading through some others and forget to make comment. I'm not saying everything that is posted to comment to but at least give one to something you truly like. Sometimes when posting a picture, the poster may be only looking for critiques. Whether I like the style or not, I look into the work and see if the person has accomplished what they set out to do.

Go ahead and post a picture of a completed project Jim, I can't wait to tell you "I don't like it" :rofl:
 
The LOML provides design guidelines up front before I build a project. She finds pictures or styles that she wants incorporated, and I am then required to submit rough drawings to make sure she is good with it. I had done plain paper sketches in the past, but I have since gotten into sketchup and it simplifies it a lot, a whole lot.
 
Overall, I'd have to say that the LOML is very honest with me about the quality and design of my work. Actually, I'm much more critical of my work and she often gets annoyed with me for pointing out all the errors!:eek:

She and I both like A&C (sorry Stu) so when I build things for her like picture frames, etc. I stick to that style and she is always pleased. We'll soon embark on a new mantle and (next year) new kitchen cabinets. I anticipate she will have a lot more input on those designs.

Her one big gripe is that I build things for our church, friend, and relatives, but seldom for us. I keep telling her I'm practicing on others so when I make something for her it will be perfect!:rolleyes: I don't think I can get away with that excuse much longer!:rofl:
 
One thing my wife really likes about my projects is that she gets a 'fitting' for each piece. For instance, when I was making a dresser, she wanted a shallow drawer at HER eye level - and you can bet that's where it wound up, too.:rolleyes:

Actually, there are some pieces I wish he didn't like so much. The first pieces I built were way too ambitious for my skill level. :doh: I look at them now and cringe, but she loves them.

Speaking of getting input from SWMBO, I've got almost twenty pieces of walnut scrap with different finishes for her to select the finish for her dining table.:rolleyes:
 
My wife is my biggest critic and for that I am glad. I am a big fan of Maloof's style, she doesn't care for it that much however she does appreciates the craftsmanship. I made a maloof table some time back which She wanted to know what my plans were for the table. I told here that it would go to our oldest son and I could tell she breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't plan on it for our house. On the other side of the coin she has a whole list of stuff she wants me to make for the new house. She has also encourage me to put together a portfolio of all of my project so that other can see my work. She knows my intention of slowly working up the number of commision pieces I do and knows that differant folks like differant styles. If I do get a commision she has no problem my putting her stuff on the back burner as long as I will gewt back to it as soon as I can. I've been working on a desk for her since early august Hopefully I'll get it done before we move into the new house. the end of Feb. My only problem is getting the time to be creative. I want to persue my Maloof style work by making some chairs and a rocker. But before I can do that I need to at least wittle away on her list and of ye slip in a few commsiion pieces along the way to build my clientel.
 
Mine tells me right up front whether she likes something I've made for the house.
Course these last few years, with the house interior NOT being done, She's pretty happy to get about anything done for the house.

[I may have to hire a cabinetmaker to get the kitchen finished:eek: :huh: :eek: ]
[I may have to hire a staircase builder to finish the staircase:eek: :huh: :eek: ]
 
...For that reason I am very careful about making something for someone without asking or knowing they will like it.
Jeff

That's a very good way to approach it, Jeff. The biggest shame is if you pour your heart into a project that ends up in the back of a closet. (I once received a brightly painted wooden banana tree -Wow!)

One of the trends I see in forums is the tendency to give everyone a gift based on your latest woodworking obsession. Okay, you recently "mastered" freeform bandsawn boxes and you think they're just the coolest thing on earth. Does it follow that everyone from your granny to your young nephew will appreciate having one?

Try to make it fit the recipient's life and you'll rarely go wrong. If you just want to show off your woodworking chops, your gifts may fall flat. A forgiving spouse will still make the right noises on receiving it, but ask yourself whether it's because she loves the gift or because she loves you.
 
A suggestion from a newbie if y'all don't mind :)

We are all different in some way when it comes to getting or giving criticism. I'm sure there are many out there who are NOT skilled woodworkers (or like me, not even close), but who take great pride in actually completing a project and who are just happy to show it off and get an "attaboy", even if it's not a masterpeice.

So .... maybe we could take as an example a photography forum that I read where they have a separate forum for displaying those photos for which the photographer wished to receive honest criticism, good or bad. Do you think we could/should have a "critique" forum for posting projects for which we are prepared to receive both negative and positive remarks?

just a thought ...

And, back on topic ... my sweetheart usually has good suggestions for improvement on my attempts as she is very artistic and has a good eye for lines and colours. Me? .. I couldn't compose a duck on water :)

cheers eh?
 
John, I think.... well the way I approach this situation is depending on what the person asked. For example I asked for design input yesterday on a couple of pieces for a project I am working on. Got some critics and away I went. I was asking for people opinions on this part.

If someone doesn't ask about the design, I assume they are just showing off their latest accomplishment and don't want to hear how to improve it or what I don't like about it.

I post both types myself. Sometimes I want or need some input. Sometimes I just want to show what I built and I don't want to hear how to improve it because I like it the way it is. I guess we could call it a "If they don't ask, don't tell" policy. :D
 
John, I think.... well the way I approach this situation is depending on what the person asked. .......... If someone doesn't ask about the design, I assume they are just showing off their latest accomplishment and don't want to hear how to improve it or what I don't like about it. ......... I guess we could call it a "If they don't ask, don't tell" policy. :D

Hi Jeff,

Thanks for this reply. After some of the forums I've visited, a pleasant straightforward answer is a breath of fresh air :)

cheers eh?
 
Hey Jim....I represent that remark :eek:...

Actually, my wife is very honest with me (brutal is more like it)
But dear old mom....she loves EVERYTHING I make and brags about me to all her friends.

And I love both of them....go figure.




sometimes my wife has no taste at all....shhhhh
 
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