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Thread: a woman that doesn't shop!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    North West Indiana

    a woman that doesn't shop!!

    I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty
    and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for
    I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this
    money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'*

    'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

    'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

    'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend
    all my time trying to stay alive.'

    'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.*
    'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20

    'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to
    take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

    The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for
    doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

    I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like
    after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'**
    God and family, the rest is icing on the cake.

    I'm so far behind, I think I'm in first place.

    Premier Bovine Scatologist


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Kansas City, Missouri

    To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” – Robert Brault

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Thomasville, GA

    I just forwarded that to my wife at work! I'm sure she and her coworkers will appreciate it!
    Bill Arnold
    Citizen of Texas residing in Georgia.
    NRA Life Member
    Member of Mensa
    Live every day like it's your last, but don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    GTA Ontario Canada
    did the same

  5. #5
    Then my wife is a miracle...she does all three of those things and still looks like a homeless woman!
    I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    ABQ NM
    So Jon...since when do you have a husband?
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Quote Originally Posted by Travis Johnson View Post
    Then my wife is a miracle...she does all three of those things and still looks like a homeless woman!
    Hopefully she hasn't seen that comment or you'd be dead by now.
    Best regards,

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________
    web site:
    I also dream of a shop with north light where my hands can be busy, my soul rest and my mind wander...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Amherst, New Hampshire
    Faith, Hope & Charity

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