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Thread: A Mississippi Grandma

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Oak Harbor Washington on Whidbey Island
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    A Mississippi Grandma

    A Mississippi Grandma

    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Johnson, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."


    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."


    The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Salt Spring Island, BC Canada
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    2,070
    Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS...............

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Amherst, New Hampshire
    Posts
    10,600
    Faith, Hope & Charity

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Jiutepec Morelos, Mexico
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    230

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    bethel springs TN, but was born and raised in north east PA
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    3,132
    now that's one of the best i've seen in a long time

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    U.K.
    Posts
    112

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