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Thread: When Insults Had Class

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Portland, Oregon

    When Insults Had Class

    When Insults Had Class. These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
    She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
    He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

    Jesus was a Woodworker

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Santa Claus, In
    I had a Chief Master Sargent in the Air Force that could belittle you to death and you would thank him when it was over. He was good. I learned a lot from that man.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    falcon heights, minnesota
    lady astor: mister prime minister i do believe you are quite drunk!
    chruchill: you are quite right my lady, i am quite drunk, and you are also quite ugly. but by tomorrow morning, i shall be indisputably sober.
    benedictione omnes bene

    check out my etsy store, buroviejowoodworking

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    These are from the times where people read more books than watched TV, eventually the only words that people will know apart from the four letters one that you mention, will be ON-OFF, RESET, SAVE THE GAME, SCORE, and YOU?VE GOT ONLY THREE LIVES LEFT.

    I studied japanese for a year an half, once the teacher told us that japanese people never insulted others. A very sharp classmate asked the following question: "So instead of saying you are a jackass, you say my donkey is clever than you"...
    Best regards,

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________
    web site:
    I also dream of a shop with north light where my hands can be busy, my soul rest and my mind wander...

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