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Thread: Bob the chicken

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    somewhere east of Queen Creek, AZ - South East of Phoenix

    Bob the chicken

    Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber... He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob...'

    Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

    St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

    Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

    A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

    'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

    'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '

    'Never,' said Bob.

    'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

    Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

    Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

    As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell...

    'BOB, wake up. You pooped the bed!'

    "There’s a lot of work being done today that doesn’t have any soul in it. The technique may be the utmost perfection, yet it is lifeless. It doesn’t have a soul. I hope my furniture has a soul to it." - Sam Maloof
    The Pessimist complains about the wind; The Optimist expects it to change;The Realist adjusts the sails.~ William Arthur Ward

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Tellico Plains, Tennessee

    And the moral is:

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
    Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
    The next day, the kids came back and, one by one,
    began to tell their stories.
    There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
    But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
    “Janie, do you have a story to share?'
    ''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
    She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
    She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
    She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her
    right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
    She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife,
    till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
    ''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.
    'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?
    "Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
    Tellico Plains, TN
    My parents taught me to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder to find any.
    If you go looking for trouble, it will usually find you.

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