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Thread: Senior Citizen Discount?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Oak Harbor Washington on Whidbey Island

    Senior Citizen Discount?

    Senior Citizen Discount? Who me? You bet!


    $5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
    I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

    I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

    I stood there stupefied. I am 56 , not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

    I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

    I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

    Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

    "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

    "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

    I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

    That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.
    I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

    Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

    Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

    Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

    I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

    All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

    Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

    I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

    She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

    All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

    As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanket.

    The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

    Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

    Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

    P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with chocolate !!!!!
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Whittier, CA, USA
    Has me laughing pretty good, only 10 years away for me.
    Dan Gonzales
    Whittier, CA, USA
    Dona nobis pacem

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    somewhere east of Queen Creek, AZ - South East of Phoenix
    well since I turn 63 next week I ain't sayn nuten.
    "There’s a lot of work being done today that doesn’t have any soul in it. The technique may be the utmost perfection, yet it is lifeless. It doesn’t have a soul. I hope my furniture has a soul to it." - Sam Maloof
    The Pessimist complains about the wind; The Optimist expects it to change;The Realist adjusts the sails.~ William Arthur Ward

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Claremont, NH

    Senior Citizen Discout - All the time

    I am six months away from 80 and think you guys better get away from flat wook and get to turning!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    No, not all of SoCal is Los Angeles!
    Up in Silly-cone Valley my nickname was Gramps. This came about while I was fooling around with my buddies kids while he shopped for a new rollaway tool chest. Their mom couldn't see us behind the aisle and asked where the kids were. The helpful clerk responded "Its OK. They're with Gramps. The name has stuck since the dot.coms bombed and we've all moved to the four corners. . . . sheesh.
    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    - Arthur C. Clarke

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Amherst, New Hampshire
    this 61 year old laughed his butt off
    Faith, Hope & Charity

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Indianapolis area
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Gibson View Post
    this 61 year old laughed his butt off
    Likewise with this 63 year old.


    "Individual commitment to a group effort--that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work."
    Vince Lombardi

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Central NY State
    I found it funny too....what was it about again?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Delton, Michigan
    Quote Originally Posted by Syd Lorandeau View Post
    I am six months away from 80 and think you guys better get away from flat wook and get to turning!!!
    so are you telling us that if we start in the spinny vortex that we will live longer??? quess i am doomed huh
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Mountain Home, Arkansas
    Quote Originally Posted by Syd Lorandeau View Post
    I am six months away from 80 and think you guys better get away from flat wook and get to turning!!!
    At 71, you make me feel like a kid.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

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