Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: How good of a friend is he ?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Outside the beltway
    Posts
    5,250

    How good of a friend is he ?

    Talk about puns, A friend told me he was having open heart surgery and he would be the recipient of a brand new scar to show off. I told him "I am happy for you in that scene you are getting to the heart of the issue"

    My oldest friend and I will go at it back and forth like to wild caged cats when we take on a new friend and boy do we get looks. One guy said he thought we were going to go at it any second. I think we enjoy the bantering back and forth. Now we are talking about working together and I am having seconds thoughts about that. He is the most anal person I know and I would have to change, a bit like I did for my wife, so I got some thinking to do. My friend will be out of a job by the end of Oct.
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Southern, Illinois
    Posts
    106
    Dave,
    I have no great advice for you on this, just wanted to reinforce what you have already said “I got some thinking do to”. I have seen more than one great (and long time) friendships go down the drain once they started working together. I am not sure what your actual arrangement will be, but consider all your options before jumping in.

    In every scenario I can think of (partnership, employee, etc.) there are many not so fun conversations that will happen.

    Just my 2 cents...
    Doug

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Delton, Michigan
    Posts
    17,471
    i second that advice dave,, a friendship lost isnt worth it!! been there done that,, got the friendship back but its not like it was...
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    ABQ NM
    Posts
    30,014
    I'll chime in for the other side. My brother-in-law Jim and I are great friends and we worked great together for a couple of different companies over the years. We never really had any serious arguments, but spent a lot of time messing with each other and giving each other crap. Sarcasm so thick you could cut it with a knife. People who didn't know us probably thought we hated each other. Our last job together was several years on a big project as construction inspectors at the Albuquerque Airport, where we both had a lot of interaction with the superintendent and various foremen on the job. At one point after working with the superintendent for three or more years, I was chatting with him one day and made some joking remark like "Jim's OK, but the worse thing I ever did was let him marry my sister." The super's jaw dropped and his eyes had a look of shock. "You guys are brothers-in-law? So THAT explains it!"
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

    workingwoods.com

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Vancouver Island, Courtenay/Comox Valley, British Columbia
    Posts
    3,220
    Dave, is it okay if a female offers 2 cents?

    About working with your friend? I think it's a very personal decision. I've seen both scenarios. I know 2 doctors who started as friends and who had a very successful practice and partnership for 40 years until they both retired. They never even had a written partnership agreement. I allowed some friends to live in my basement for a year while their home was being built--a couple, a dog, and a baby. 4 different friends of mine told me not to do it, but I did it anyway and it worked out great. I've also seen some terrible arguments and old friendships dissolved after working together.

    It's very personal, and if it's me, I ask myself, is this a reasonable person who is going to use reasonable judgement? How will we handle it if it doesn't work out? How can we each have an out and still save face? For a big decision like that Freud once advised one of his colleagues to "go with your first instinct because that will be most in accord with your subconscious mind."

    FWIW
    cynthia
    AKA Young Grasshopper Woodworker
    AKA The Rookie

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Outside the beltway
    Posts
    5,250
    Cynthia I work with lady's all the time and take advice from them all the time. Thanks

    Vaughn , that's what I'm talking about . We are like brothers. We have discussed the issue over the years but never seriously. I will let him make the next move the ball is in his court.

    Thanks Guys.
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Delton, Michigan
    Posts
    17,471
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Hawksford View Post
    Cynthia I work with lady's all the time and take advice from them all the time. Thanks

    Vaughn , that's what I'm talking about . We are like brothers. We have discussed the issue over the years but never seriously. I will let him make the next move the ball is in his court.

    Thanks Guys.
    in that train of thought dave,, i do think that the main reason my friendship has come back at all to where it is now is that we both realize that we done some things wrong..so age does help in the thought process..but we are all differnt in personality.. i wasnt as i am today 30 yrs ago..
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  8. #8
    I have worked with friends before and all I have to add is that there has to be a boss, only one boss, a person to make a final decision and both have to agree who is the boss, who makes the final decisin and who is in charge.

    Another approach is to work independently in the same facility, with one helping the other when needed. Each works on his/her own projects, doing it his/her own way, accepting all blame or praise alone.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    North West Indiana
    Posts
    6,098
    Friends don't come cheap.
    If you are already concerned, I would drop the idea and keep the friendship.
    I do agree, one has to be boss. Pay the bills, take on the jobs, determine final outcomes and completion dates.
    If it is due to economic times, take him on as a hired hand, if it works, let him work into the company you two form.
    Baby steps if you move forward.
    Putting the ball in his court, lets him have the job of boss, is that what you want?
    Jon

    God and family, the rest is icing on the cake. I'm so far behind, I think I'm in first place!

    Host of the 2015 FAMILY WOODWORKING GATHERING

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Mountain Home, Arkansas
    Posts
    11,828
    My father went through five partners who were friends before the partnerships. One was a life long friend from childhood.
    Deciding who makes the final decision is the tough part. Whoever gets the call leaves the other resentful.
    The military once did experiments with teams of equal rank. No one was in charge but they were told to work together as a team. Total disaster. Someone must be in charge for final decisions. That's life.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 04-10-2015, 02:38 AM
  2. Good friend waas injured
    By Dave Hawksford in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 01-18-2012, 04:46 AM
  3. Good to have a friend to cover your back!!!
    By Dan Mooney in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-13-2011, 12:48 PM
  4. A "Good" Friend...
    By Don Taylor in forum General Woodworking Q&A
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 12-04-2007, 08:59 AM
  5. Help Me Help a Friend On FWW!!
    By Travis Johnson in forum Site Questions and Test Posts
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-18-2007, 02:45 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •