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Thread: The Philosophy of Ambiguity

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    1,898

    The Philosophy of Ambiguity

    FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

    DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

    IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

    I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

    WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

    IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

    IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

    IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

    IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

    WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

    WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

    WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

    WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

    IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

    IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

    WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

    WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

    HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

    CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
    Jesus was a Woodworker

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oceanside, So. Calif. 5 mi. to the ocean
    Posts
    4,944
    OK You made me laugh!

    Several times in fact.

    Enjoy
    Jim
    First of all you have to be smarter than the machine.
    VOTING MEMBER

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Amherst, New Hampshire
    Posts
    10,604
    Those are great
    Faith, Hope & Charity

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Syracuse, Nebraska
    Posts
    669
    Good stuff

    One to add:

    If you shoot a mime...should you have a silencer on the gun?

  5. #5
    Sounds like my life in a few words!

    This is fun stuff!
    Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it
    still sings!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Outside the beltway
    Posts
    5,255
    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Gallian View Post
    Sounds like my life in a few words!

    This is fun stuff!
    I can say the same.
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  7. #7
    How do you call for help into a vacuum?
    Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it
    still sings!

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