Dan Mooney
Member
- Messages
- 1,920
- Location
- Portland, Oregon
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:
DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
