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Thread: Holiday eating tips.

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    somewhere east of Queen Creek, AZ - South East of Phoenix
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    Holiday eating tips.

    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day ?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

    10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:


    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
    "There’s a lot of work being done today that doesn’t have any soul in it. The technique may be the utmost perfection, yet it is lifeless. It doesn’t have a soul. I hope my furniture has a soul to it." - Sam Maloof
    The Pessimist complains about the wind; The Optimist expects it to change;The Realist adjusts the sails.~ William Arthur Ward

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Sounds like a typical Christmas in my house
    Faith, Hope & Charity

  3. #3
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    Apr 2010
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    North of Reno, NV...middle of the desert
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    We're doing seafood for Christmas this year...

    We see food, we eat it

  4. #4
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    We will be doing Ice Cream and Cake.............it is a Birthday celebration after all.
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  5. #5
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    Mountain Home, Arkansas
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    Fruitcakes are one of my most favorites things. My wife bakes about a dozen each year and lets them 'rest' while getting well....uh....infused with an aged bottled substance. We give away a few but I get to eat the rest.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

  6. #6
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    Frank sounds like the kind Grandma made. I liked them.
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  7. #7
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    My mom used to make a fruitcake using all fresh fruit, non of that candied stuff, the typical cake would weigh in a just under ten pounds and she would soak it in rum for a month. That was a great fruit cake.
    "There’s a lot of work being done today that doesn’t have any soul in it. The technique may be the utmost perfection, yet it is lifeless. It doesn’t have a soul. I hope my furniture has a soul to it." - Sam Maloof
    The Pessimist complains about the wind; The Optimist expects it to change;The Realist adjusts the sails.~ William Arthur Ward

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    ABQ NM
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    I agree on the good homemade fruitcake, but most of the store-bought ones are worthy of their bad reputations.

    We used to have a traveling Christmas fruitcake in our family that was re-wrapped and given as a "gift" to a different family member every year. I think it lasted about 8 or 9 years before someone "lost" it.
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

    workingwoods.com

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Tellico Plains, Tennessee
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    You can get a pretty decent fruit cake from the Collins Street Bakery in Corsicana, TX... pretty good fruit cake..

    This year we'll follow our five year tradition again... since the kids all have their own families and we don't like to travel on the holidays much, we'll stay home again this year... probably go to a movie and have Chinese food for dinner....
    Chuck
    Tellico Plains, TN
    https://www.etsy.com/shop/TellicoTurnings
    My parents taught me to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder to find any.
    If you go looking for trouble, it will usually find you.

  10. #10
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    Someone actually eats fruitcake
    Faith, Hope & Charity

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