Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: One day, a man decided to retire...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Posts
    13,454

    One day, a man decided to retire...

    He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. That is, until the ship sank.

    He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing - only bananas and coconuts.

    After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

    She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island, where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

    "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

    "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

    "But, where did you get the tools?"

    "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that to make tools, and used the tools to make the hardware."

    The guy is stunned.

    "Let's row over to my place," she says. So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please."

    "Would you like a drink?"

    "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't
    take another drop of coconut juice."

    "It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?"

    Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

    No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells, honed to a hollow ground edge, are fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism.

    "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned.

    She smelled faintly of gardenias...
    She then beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There's something I'm certain you feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for, right?" She stares into his eyes.

    He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly, as tears start to form in his eyes,
    "...you've built a Golf Course?"
    Darren

    To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” – Robert Brault

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Bellingham
    Posts
    2,449
    Well, did she? Us golfers want to know!
    “When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.” - John Ruskin
    “Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.” - Oscar Wilde

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Posts
    13,454
    dunno I'm still thinking about the boat she built...
    Darren

    To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” – Robert Brault

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Syracuse, Nebraska
    Posts
    669
    Did she mebbe build a table saw and jointer and planer and..........


  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Posts
    13,454
    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Newby View Post
    Did she mebbe build a table saw and jointer and planer and..........

    I hope so...got to do something to keep a retired guy's attention
    Darren

    To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” – Robert Brault

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Outside the beltway
    Posts
    5,259
    I'm glad I never got the golf bug
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Indianapolis area
    Posts
    1,697
    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Newby View Post
    Did she mebbe build a table saw and jointer and planer and..........

    Seems the neader type to me!
    ________

    Ron

    "Individual commitment to a group effort--that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work."
    Vince Lombardi

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    GTA Ontario Canada
    Posts
    12,260
    Now this is what i figure happened to the guy after that comment.







    Me too Dave i am happy i never got the hang of golf.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails man in pot.jpg  
    cheers

Similar Threads

  1. Well the sweat is over with now I can retire.
    By Bart Leetch in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-09-2011, 10:30 AM
  2. Guess who decided to retire from Woodturning
    By Mohammad Madha in forum Turning Tool Questions and Show & Tell
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 08-14-2011, 10:06 PM
  3. I Want to retire...
    By Jim Burr in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-14-2011, 03:27 PM
  4. Finally Decided....
    By Corey Hallagan in forum New Tools
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-21-2007, 05:54 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •