Gems of Woodworking Wisdom. Or 99 Ways Woodworkers Delude Themselves.
1) 1/16" Is close enough
2) I have enough clamps
3) I don't need more glue
4) My wife knows my name
5) I don't need a Unisaw
6) Rust doesn't bother me
7) One router is enough
8) Picking out wood is easy
9) My kids recognize me
10) I have all the tools I need
11) I don't need a jointer or planer
12) 1/32Ē is close enough
13) I don't really need dust collection
14) 89 degrees is square enough
15) I know right where that tool is
16) I'm sure that won't dull the jointer blades
17) I don't have to hurry, that glue has a long setup time
18) Mitered corners without a jig, piece of cake!
19) Any old finish is good enough
20) I have lots of space in my shop
21) Donít worry about that knot, it will be on the scrap side.
22) I'll get a cheap bit 'cause I'll never need that size again
23) Dust and poly are a perfect mix
24) I'll fix 'that' after I finish it
25) I have plenty of router bits
26) MDF is great to work with because it is basically dust-free
27) Two routers are plenty
28) 91 degrees is close enough.
29) Wobble dados are flat-bottomed enough
30) I don't have time to sharpen it
31) I will just shave off a little, no need to measure
32) I'll clean that glue squeeze out later
33) That should be plenty of wood for the project
34) I know the dimension I don't need to look at the sketch
35) No need for a pilot hole, this won't split
36) Nobody will ever see the underside of this piece anyway, why sand?
37) A 6-in. jointer is big enough.
38) I'll buy this cheaper tool; it'll be good enough
39) Yeah, I can whip that out in a few hours
40) I donít need anything, but since I am passing by, I will just stop in Woodcraft just to look around.
41) If I make it myself, it will cost almost nothing
42) Which Minwax stain will work well this time?
43) Plans? I don't need no stink'n plans!
44) That would be easy to make
45) I only need one table saw blade for everything.
46) Sure, I'll be glad to build that for you
47) Iím sure that glue is dried by now!
48) Sure, I know it's midnight, but I'll just rout this 10' board quickly. No one will notice.
49) I'll be to bed in a minute, just want to check if there are any new postings on FWW.
50) Really, I don't need twelve steps; I can quit buying tools any time
51) I can stop woodworking anytime!
52) Listen honey, with $2000.00 I could get all the tools Iíll ever need.
53) No problem. I KNOW I can get that new planer in my 8X12 workshop!
54) Daaad, it's 2am and your machine is waking me up! ďOK hon, go back to bed. Iím done now.Ē
55) Man thatís a nice piece of wood, expensive but nice... 2 Years laer: What the heck did I do with that piece of wood?
56) Sure Honey, you can use my tools anytime.
57) Yeah, you can lay that walnut on the asphalt
58) No one told ME to measure the stairway door!
59) Turn on the whole house fan darling, that smell (formica adhesive) will be gone soon
60) I cut it twice and it's still too short
61) That cut?! No problem, piece of cake...
62) All tape measures are accurate enough
63) Sure! You can borrow my (name of tool here), I hardly ever use it!
64) I'll be in a minute or so...
65) Geometry class was a waste of time
66) If all four sides are equal lengths it must be square
67) I do not need my reading glasses to read the ruler
68) If I tighten the clamp more, the gap will close
69) Perfect, I can get all four 12Ē pieces out of that one 48Ē board. ( ďSaw kerf, whatís a saw kerf?Ē )
70) Of course I will still park the cars in the garage!
71) I would NEVER take a vacation day to stay home and play with my tools
72) Only a true wacko would use a dial indicator on wood working tools
73) My workbench is flat enough!
74) Under the finish nobody will be able to see that little tear-out.
75) Oh yeah, I can have it ready in two weeks, fer sure!
76) The lumber truck will be here Monday morning!
77) I'm sure I have one more project's worth of clean cutting from these knives
78) Iíve got power tools, I donít need any chisels or planes.
79) I'm sure I've sanded all the glue excess away
80) If I just cut this warped board to short lengths it will work just fine
81) I don't need to read ALL of the owner's manual
82) No, I don't need to write them down, I've got all the measurements in my head.
83) Gee, I cut all the miters at exactly 45deg and the last corner of my picture frame still doesn't come together.
84) They always build a project before they publish the plans
85) Of course it will work, everybody else does it that way
86) This router table should take care of our needs
87) This size shop should be large enough for our tools
88) Do you think we should check the dust collector? -- No, we haven't been doing that much cutting
89) No need to put up the tailgate, it won't slide out
90) Let's see, the opening for that drawer is 17 3/4", plus an 8th and a 32ndÖ
91) I'm 100% sure I marked 3/4" and not 5/8", particularly since this is the last piece of oak I have on hand
92) I have enough glue to finish this assembly.
93) That clamp up will be easy, Just wrap a band clamp around it.
94) I canít check for square because that clamp is in the way, but Iím sure it will be okay.
95) The plans say to make the drawer xxx inches wide, no need to measure, itíll fit fine.
96) I donít need a clamp on the drill press, Iíll just hold it down by hand.
97) I donít need dust collector piping, Iíll just switch the hose from machine to machine as I need it.
98) Iíll tune up the tablesaw next week, Itíll be fine for this project.
99) No Boss, I wasnít daydreaming, I was listening to your presentation.