Have a laugh. Here are real things that tourists say to Park Rangers in Canada:
Banff National Park:
"Is that food coloring in the lakes?"
"When did you build the glaciers?"
"How much for a moose?"
"Where are the igloos?"
"How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the Elk Crossing signs?"
"At what elevation does an elk become a moose?"
"Are the bears with collars tame?"
"Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?"
"Is it ok to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?"
"Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?"
"Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?"
"How far is Banff from Canada?"
"What's the best way to see Canada in a day?"
"When we enter British Columbia, do we have to convert our money to British pounds?"
"Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they?"
"Are there phones in Banff?"
"So it's eight kilometers away. Is that in miles?"
"We're on the decibel system, you know."
"Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?"
"Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?"
"Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?"
"Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?"
"If I go to British Columbia, do I have to go through Ontario?"
"Do they search you at the British Columbia border?"
"Are there birds in Canada?"
"I saw an animal on the way to Banff today. Could you tell me what it was?"
"How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" / "'Elk.'" / "Oh."
"Where can I get my husband really, REALLY lost?"
"Can you tell me how to get to the Columbia Rice Fields?" (It's Ice Fields)
Glacier National Park:
"When do the deer become elk?"
"When do the glaciers go by?"