Can You Help Me Build a Space Shuttle?

Can You Help Me Build a Space Shuttle?

Reprinted from the Usenet Newsgroup rec.woodworking

I need advice on making a Space Shuttle for Christmas. My brother and
I want to build it. Does anyone have a source for plans? I also need
a plan for a plywood Santa cutout for the side, just to be a bit
whimsical.

I ordered the rocket motors already, but its taking forever for them
to come at 3mph all the way from Cape Canaveral, and now I'm afraid
the lousy truck driver won't help me unload them. With what I had to
pay for shipping, I'll be darned if I'll give him an extra $25!

Anyway, I figured I'd use MDF for the tiles to protect from re-entry.
I thought it would work based on my testing: I threw them as high as
I could in the back yard, and I didn't see any signs of burning when
they came back down (although, I do have a headache.) But, after
cutting them to size on my new Craftsman saw (I think its made by
Delta now,) there are black marks along the cut edges. I tried to
return the pieces to the lumber yard, but the jerk there would only
take back full sheets. Had to buy a bunch of bar clamps and the Norm
Abrams Glue Applicator, and as soon as the glue dries, he's getting
his full sheets back. Cost me a fortune in glue, but I have to
control costs on this thing.

My new plan is to use sheetrock. Has anyone used sheetrock for a
re-entry vehicle? 1/2" or 5/8"? I'd hate to have to double it up,
because the stuff gets heavy and I bought the economy rocket motors,
so if I need to use 5/8", just let me know. I have a call in to Bob
Vila, because I think I saw him use a knife to cut sheetrock once. Or
he watched someone do it. Whatever. Anyway, I figured if anyone knew
about re-entry, he was the guy (the local Sears guy didn't know squat,
but I did get a nice RoboGrip pliers that auto-sizes and works on
pipe, nuts, and re-entry vehicles.)

For the rocket motor housing, instead of using metal cylinders, I was
thinking of PVC. Heck, PVC is rated at 480 or 48 million PSI or
something, so that should be OK. I think that stuff about it
shattering is bunk anyway, because my neighbor knows a guy who used to
be in the Navy, and he said someone said they could use PVC for
submarine missle tubes, and I figure that's the same thing. Anyone
make missle tubes out of this before?

I'm also looking for a router jig to cut the payload doors, but the
guys at the Router Magic show could only sell me a 23" long sliding
table. Idiots! Who ever heard of routing the edges of payload doors
that were only 23" long? Like that's ever going to work.

And that Roy Underhill guy is a joke too. There's no way I'm wrapping
23,000 miles of leather strapping to an adze handle, tying the other
end to a flexible hickory branch and spinning the shuttle into orbit.
We made rocket motors for a reason.

Also, I know one of you has plans for Robin's Butt. Or something. If
you do, email them to me, as I need to make comfortable seats for the
shuttle, and I figure I'll just triple the dimensions to make it fit
my butt.
 
After building mine, I've got some spares, a dual fuel gauge with in-built red leds, some safety belts and a couple of braking parachutes made out of discarded grandma's bra.

Should you find a use for them them drop me a PM:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
IMHO the re-entry tiles should be pressure treated plywood wrapped in teflon tape........but then, I'm no rocket scientist.:huh::dunno: We had a fella here once tried to build an airplane out of corn stalks. Didn't fly too well.......but sure did burn purty.
 
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I haven't checked any groups in years, but I used to all the time.

I wonder if they have all just descended into nothing but flame wars!
 
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