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Thread: It's Friday Joke Time

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Outside the beltway
    Posts
    5,259

    It's Friday Joke Time

    Got to be one of the best Blond jokes I've heard in a long time.

    A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. '

    How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.

    'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

    'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'

    'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants... I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

    'So then?' asked the doctor.

    'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

    'So then?'

    'Then I put the gun to my ear and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.'
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Victoria, B.C.
    Posts
    8
    What did the hat say to the scarf?

    "You hang around here, I'll just go on ahead."



    What did the bra say to the hat?

    "You go on ahead. I'm going to give these two a lift."

    Last edited by Cynthia White; 03-25-2011 at 11:33 PM. Reason: fixed it

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Salt Spring Island, BC Canada
    Posts
    2,070
    Why do elephants paint their to nails red?

    To hide in cherry trees.

    Ever see an elephant in a cherry tree?

    See how good it works.

    How did tarzan Die?

    Picking cherries.
    Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS...............

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oceanside, So. Calif. 5 mi. to the ocean
    Posts
    4,944
    Hi,

    I don't know if my computer will keep working. It has spurts of runing fine and spurts, like this evening, of giving me messages from Microsoft telling me that the program is no longer runing...please click so they can figure it out. It happened several times in Excel and in Word. I probably tried 20 times to get onto Family Woodworking and have it work.

    Greg (Son #1) has a computer for me. He was going to bring it down. However, someone decided to burgle his foreign car parts business, including stealing blank checks. So he has had thoughts other than dear old day on his mind.

    Gee I did all of this BS and I forgot what thread I am responding to. I will post it and then edit it.

    Oh yes---How could I forget---The dumb blonde joke. My grand daughter, Nevin, is a real blonde and she collects dumb blonde jokes. I can't wait to get this one to her. Thanks!

    Enjoy,

    Jim
    First of all you have to be smarter than the machine.
    VOTING MEMBER

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Hungary, Budapest
    Posts
    180
    A man is afraid of ghosts, but once in a cemetery at night have to go through.
    Treading carefully when you hear a knock once. Discovers that one of the grave of a guy working in the engraved tombstone.
    - Oh, but you work overtime? A heart attack brought on me.
    By the time the worker:
    - Sorry, but the misspelling of the intended name, we repair it.
    I love adventure. Therefore, I stay at home.

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