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Thread: The New Guy

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Spitting distance north of Detroit Michigan
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    3,798

    The New Guy

    So I decided I needed to hire another worker... two applicants had written an aptitude test and I was informing the second person that the first person would be hired.
    "There were ten questions, we both answered nine right, how come he got the job?" he asked.
    "Well" I replied, "You both missed number five, but he answered, "I don't Know", & you answered, "Neither do I".
    .....................................

    So I send my new help to the lumberyard...
    "Need twenty 4 X 2's," he says to the yardman.
    "Guess you mean 2 X 4's" he grins, "How long do you want them?"
    "Dunno for sure, but it will be a while, he's building a garage"
    .....................................

    As we start the framing, I notice he's throwing away about every other nail.
    "What are you doing?" I ask.
    "The heads are on the wrong end" he replies.
    I stare at him in total disbelief, and then it hit's him...
    He say's..."I'm such an idiot, I need to save them for the other side, correct?".
    ......................................

    So I decided to just work him in the shop...
    "Your first job will be to sweep up the sawdust" I said, while handing him a broom.
    "Look I'm practically a university graduate" he protested.
    I replied "No problem, I'll show you how".
    The perception of perfection is perfectly clear to everyone else

  2. #2
    Terrific humor!...I needed that post today

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    North West Indiana
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    6,098
    Would be hilarious if it weren't so true.

    Had a student, true story, stop by my farm during spring break. I am cleaning a calf pen in the pony barn. In my barns, you dig manure using a pitchfork, no fancy skid steers(they wouldn't fit, ask Larry). Anyway, he hangs around and makes small talk. Could tell something was on his mind. Finally I ask him if something is wrong, he says, "Mr. Shively, why do you store all this in here?"

    Another true story. Get done with our cattle section in Animal Science. Have a class at the farm we are haltering bottle calves, Jersey steers. We get done with the day's ativities and a girl asked me, "Mr. Shively, what are you going to do with these calves?". I replied we were going to feed them out then butcher them. She said, "when you butcher these calves, will you get meat or milk?" I had to go back and look, she got a B average on her bookwork in the cattle section. We just don't teach relevance much anymore.
    Jon

    God and family, the rest is icing on the cake. I'm so far behind, I think I'm in first place!

    Host of the 2015 FAMILY WOODWORKING GATHERING

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathan Shively View Post
    Would be hilarious if it weren't so true....
    LOL, Sad, but great stories...
    One of my neighbors came over when I was wiring up my garage/shop..he's one of those types who always has a 'better' way of doing things...anyways, I have him open a new box of romex wire and ask him to hand me the end of the cable...As I grab it from him I began to shake & shimmy as though I was being electrified and hollered for him to shut it off, shut it off...he was freaking out turning the box over in all directions claiming "I can't find the switch"..I almost peed myself from laughing so hard.
    The perception of perfection is perfectly clear to everyone else

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    ABQ NM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ken Cook View Post
    ...As I grab it from him I began to shake & shimmy as though I was being electrified and hollered for him to shut it off, shut it off...he was freaking out turning the box over in all directions claiming "I can't find the switch"...
    That sounds like something I'd do. (The shake and shimmy part, that is. If I was in your neighbor's shoes, I'd have known there's no switch on the box...I'd be reaching for the wire cutters to cut the Romex.)
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

    workingwoods.com

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vaughn McMillan View Post
    That sounds like something I'd do. (The shake and shimmy part, that is. If I was in your neighbor's shoes, I'd have known there's no switch on the box...I'd be reaching for the wire cutters to cut the Romex.)
    The perception of perfection is perfectly clear to everyone else

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Reno, Nv
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    A few years ago we were watching TV and one of those California cheese commericals was on. After it was over, my daughter (extreme blonde!) had a puzzled look on her face. I said what's wrong sweetie? She said I'm trying to figure out how cows make cheese. I still ask my wife to put her back in to fix her...no luck yet
    Your Respiratory Therapist wears Combat boots

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    North of Reno, NV...middle of the desert
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    1,930
    My first roommate out of college was the daughter of Uncle Milton...the inventor of the Ant Farm. She was not all that bright. I had to show her how to use an iron one day. But the one that topped it all was when she called out from the kitchen, "Sharon, the stove is not working". I went in there and saw a burnt match in her hand. We lived in an all electric apartment

    A week later, when I was cleaning out the kitchen and stove, I found several burnt matches under one of the burners

    Glad I lived to tell about it

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    North West Indiana
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    Jon

    God and family, the rest is icing on the cake. I'm so far behind, I think I'm in first place!

    Host of the 2015 FAMILY WOODWORKING GATHERING

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Amherst, New Hampshire
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    Great storys
    Faith, Hope & Charity

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