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Thread: True Red Necks from Wisconsin

  1. #1
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    True Red Necks from Wisconsin

    TRUE STORY - 2 DUCK HUNTERS IN WISCONSIN
    ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.

    A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 with monthly payments of $560.00. He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin . It's mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural looking water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on.

    Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce. So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse.

    Our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

    Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...? Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, The dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the ice.

    The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently thinking he is being cheered on by his master, keeps coming. One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.

    The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane.

    The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.

    The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear-end; he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.

    Then KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

    The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with 'I can't believe this just happened' looks on their faces.

    The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.

    The dog is okay....doing fine.

    And you thought all Rednecks lived in the SOUTH?????.......
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  2. #2
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    Um I always thought that Ducks flew south for the winter...
    "Thereís a lot of work being done today that doesnít have any soul in it. The technique may be the utmost perfection, yet it is lifeless. It doesnít have a soul. I hope my furniture has a soul to it." - Sam Maloof
    The Pessimist complains about the wind; The Optimist expects it to change;The Realist adjusts the sails.~ William Arthur Ward

  3. #3
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    But the ones that don't are fun to hunt.
    If you don't take pride in your work, life get's pretty boring.

    Rule of thumb is if you donít know what tool to buy next, then you probably donít need it yet.

  4. #4
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    I saw that mythbusters episode....
    There's usually more than one way to do it...
    www.wordsnwood.com ........ facebook.com/wordsnwood

  5. #5
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    ________

    Ron

    "Individual commitment to a group effort--that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work."
    Vince Lombardi

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don Baer View Post
    Um I always thought that Ducks flew south for the winter...
    They were probably Canadian Ducks, flew down across the border!
    Jesus was a Woodworker

  7. #7
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    It was funny, but still not true, when I first got it in an e-mail more than ten years ago.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

  8. #8
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    I think there are still a few rednecks left in .....Delton, Michigan.....

    Thanks for posting this Dave, those guys were almost candidates for the Darwin Award.

  9. #9
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    must be an old story, noones getting a navigator new for 42/5.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Fusco View Post
    It was funny, but still not true, when I first got it in an e-mail more than ten years ago.
    Frank maybe if they said Model T you would have believed it
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

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