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Thread: Cardiovascular health?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Westphalia, Michigan
    Posts
    955

    Cardiovascular health?

    This is the best medical advice I've heard in a long time!




    VERY IMPORTANT HEALTH INFO

    From a Japanese Doctor;




    I love this Doctor!

    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
    A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.


    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

    Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
    A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
    Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

    And remember:
    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

    AND.....

    For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

    1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans..

    5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

    CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you
    I'm a certifiable tree hugger. (it's a poor mans way of determining DBH before cutting the tree down)

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Jon

    God and family, the rest is icing on the cake. I'm so far behind, I think I'm in first place!

    Host of the 2015 FAMILY WOODWORKING GATHERING

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Amherst, New Hampshire
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    10,606
    That's great
    Faith, Hope & Charity

  4. #4
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    Delton, Michigan
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    goodun paul

    all and all, its probally the new american lifestyle that is taking us out faster..
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  5. #5
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    Mountain Home, Arkansas
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    An oldie but still very funny.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    Billings Missouri near Springfield Mo
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    Loved the CONCLUSION
    A Turn N Time
    Components for John Smith Organs and the Hobby Organ Builder

    Frog Pond Guitars


    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    GTA Ontario Canada
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    12,264
    I follow that docs advise too.
    cheers

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
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    2,668
    Funny.

    I am in agreement with the Doc on sit-ups.
    Chinese Proverb: Man who eats many prunes gets good run for the money.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Croton, Ohio (about a half hour NE of Columbus)
    Posts
    154


    Reminds me of this one:

    Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Coke and ice will ruin your teeth. Conclusion: You gotta lay of the ice. That stuff is lethal!!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Mountain Home, Arkansas
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roy Bauman View Post


    Reminds me of this one:

    Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Coke and ice will ruin your teeth. Conclusion: You gotta lay of the ice. That stuff is lethal!!
    Yes, but a worm will survive in water. It will die in whiskey. Drink whiskey and you won't have worms.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

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