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Thread: Southern Medical Dictionary

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    ABQ NM
    Posts
    30,008

    Southern Medical Dictionary

    I know we've got some medical doctors as members here at Family Woodworking, and I know at least one of them is a Yankee, so as a public service to all, I'd like to share this list of Southern medical terms I picked up from Tim Rinehart over at Woodturners America:

    Southerner's Medical Dictionary

    Artery............................. The study of paintings
    Bacteria.......................... Back door to the cafeteria
    Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die
    Benign............................ What you be, after you be eight
    Caesarean Section............ A neighborhood in Rome
    Cat scan......................... Searching for Kitty
    Cauterize........................ Made eye contact with her
    Colic.............................. A sheep dog
    Coma............................. A punctuation mark
    Dilate............................. To live long
    Enema............................ Not a friend
    Fester............................ Quicker than someone else
    Fibula............................. A small lie
    Impotent......................... Distinguished, well known
    Labor Pain....................... Getting hurt at work
    Medical Staff................... A Doctor's cane
    Morbid............................ A higher offer
    Nitrates.......................... Cheaper than day rates
    Node.............................. I knew it
    Outpatient...................... A person who has fainted
    Pelvis............................. Second cousin to Elvis
    Post Operative................. A letter carrier
    Recovery Room................ Place to do upholstery
    Rectum.......................... Dang near killed him
    Secretion....................... Hiding something
    Seizure.......................... Roman emperor
    Tablet........................... A small table
    Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport
    Tumor........................... One plus one more
    Urine............................. Opposite of you're out
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

    workingwoods.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Cape Cod, Ma.
    Posts
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Mountain Home, Arkansas
    Posts
    11,825
    Good one.
    I'll send to my son and daughter-in-law.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oceanside, So. Calif. 5 mi. to the ocean
    Posts
    4,944
    Tumor---I'm not skunked yet.

    Enjoy,
    Jim
    First of all you have to be smarter than the machine.
    VOTING MEMBER

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Catalunya
    Posts
    4,632
    Thanks Vaughn! It took me a while to understand where the fun was until I realised I had to read them with yankee accent. Now my english has improved
    Best regards,
    Toni

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________
    web site:http://www.toniciuraneta.com
    I also dream of a shop with north light where my hands can be busy, my soul rest and my mind wander...

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