Southern Medical Dictionary

Vaughn McMillan

Administrator
Staff member
Messages
36,054
Location
ABQ NM
I know we've got some medical doctors as members here at Family Woodworking, and I know at least one of them is a Yankee, so as a public service to all, I'd like to share this list of Southern medical terms I picked up from Tim Rinehart over at Woodturners America:

Southerner's Medical Dictionary

Artery............................. The study of paintings
Bacteria.......................... Back door to the cafeteria
Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die
Benign............................ What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section............ A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan......................... Searching for Kitty
Cauterize........................ Made eye contact with her
Colic.............................. A sheep dog
Coma............................. A punctuation mark
Dilate............................. To live long
Enema............................ Not a friend
Fester............................ Quicker than someone else
Fibula............................. A small lie
Impotent......................... Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain....................... Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff................... A Doctor's cane
Morbid............................ A higher offer
Nitrates.......................... Cheaper than day rates
Node.............................. I knew it
Outpatient...................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis............................. Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative................. A letter carrier
Recovery Room................ Place to do upholstery
Rectum.......................... Dang near killed him
Secretion....................... Hiding something
Seizure.......................... Roman emperor
Tablet........................... A small table
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport
Tumor........................... One plus one more
Urine............................. Opposite of you're out
 
Thanks Vaughn!:rofl: It took me a while to understand where the fun was until I realised I had to read them with yankee accent.:thumb::thumb: Now my english has improved
 
Top