Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: I am still married.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    I am still married.

    There was some possibility that events this weekend could change my status.

    As some of you know, I am in the process of installing a lower shelf on my workbench. I needed to prep 8 boards that were only 2 feet in length. I hand flattened the boards with hand planes, a task better accomplished when they are cut close to size. Since I am only a part time masochist, I never had any intention of thicknessing them by hand. To get around the snipe issues with my planer I decided to chain feed them into the planer with a sacrificial scrap of wood at the front and back. I am just not willing to lose a good 4 plus inches per board to snipe. I have done this with longer pieces at it works great. Problem is that I would need someone's help to do it with these short boards. That someone would have to be my wife and this is where the possibility of divorce comes in.

    One thing I have learned is that men and women are from two different worlds. Hearing something and learning something are two different things. Trust me, I have "learned" that we are different. Two men can grab hold of a couch and carry it up several flights of stairs and though several rooms and not ever say anything except for a few communicative grunts and eye movements. My wife does not understand man grunts and any task we do together is often doomed to much stop and go as we "discuss" what we are doing. Often there is some problem because I have "failed to explain" what we were doing.

    So I approached this task with much trepidation as I imagined something out of Lucy and Fudge Factory occurring. I very carefully and specifically spelled out what we were doing with a couple of trial runs. I especially emphasized that the boards had to laid back to me in the same orientation (up & down). Amazing enough it went off great with no problems. Well, there was one board that got fed in wrong (wrong side up) and as my wife quickly pointed out, that is the way it was when she got it. Oh, one other thing I have learned, sometimes it is your fault even if it wasn't.
    “When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.” - John Ruskin
    “Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.” - Oscar Wilde

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Reno NV
    You are a brave man Bill! Glad things worked out so well for you!
    Programmer - An organism that turns coffee into software.
    If all your friends are exactly like you, What an un-interesting life it must be.
    "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" Ogden Nash

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Thomasville, GA
    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Satko View Post
    ... Oh, one other thing I have learned, sometimes it is your fault even if it wasn't.
    And this is NEWS to you???

    Seriously, I'm glad everything worked out OK. LOML couldn't begin to use very many of my tools, but she's a good helper - when I've explained everything well!!!
    Bill Arnold
    Citizen of Texas residing in Georgia.
    NRA Life Member
    Member of Mensa
    Live every day like it's your last, but don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    ABQ NM
    I had a similar experience shortly before I moved to Albuquerque. I needed to plane several 10' lengths of 6" wide 8/4 maple, so I knew from the get-go that I was going to need a second set of hands and arms. Bless her heart, LOML handled her end of the bargain (er...the boards) with aplomb, with nary a complaint. Didn't even complain about the hearing protection messing up her hair. (Thank goodness she didn't break a fingernail.) Of course that's the sort of thing a woman never forgets, so somewhere down the road, when I least expect it, I'll "owe her one" and need to help her with some chore I'd much rather not do. Probably something along the lines of dog suppositories.
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Delton, Michigan
    well bill, i am glad you got her threw the first grade and maybe someday you can get her into high school and maybe graduate the course of man thoughts you, will never pass woman psychology so just go threw the paces and have a good time
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    GTA Ontario Canada
    Bill it gets even tougher when your wife is a McGiver and adds her own two cents on how she thinks it should be done and 50/50 chance she is gonna do it her way if you like it or not. I agree there is no ways we the same animals.

    Kinda makes me wonder every time i think of the boy scouts in Canada allowing girls in. I aint heard of the Brownies or Girl Guides inviting boys to join.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Delton, Michigan
    well rob i wished they had back in my scout days,, would have made the camp outs more fun
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    North of Reno, NV...middle of the desert
    Watch ya talking about

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Escondido, CA
    Uhhhhh, guys? Girls have been scouting boys for longer than there have been scouts. Just sayin....

    Some say the land of milk and honey; others say the land of fruits and nuts. All together my sort of heaven.

    Power is not taken. It is given. Who have you given yours to? Hmmmm?

    Carol Reed

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Oak Harbor Washington on Whidbey Island
    I don't know what planer you have Bill but here is some help for portable planers.
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

Similar Threads

  1. I married a model
    By allen levine in forum General Woodworking Q&A
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 07-24-2015, 05:59 PM
  2. married for the 4th time
    By Rich Soby in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-20-2015, 09:53 PM
  3. 40 Years Married
    By Dan Mooney in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-28-2011, 12:11 AM
  4. Got married yesterday 1/11/11
    By Mike Henderson in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 01-14-2011, 05:46 AM
  5. Married 21 years, today
    By Steve Southwood in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 08-28-2010, 04:21 AM


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts