There was some possibility that events this weekend could change my status.
As some of you know, I am in the process of installing a lower shelf on my workbench. I needed to prep 8 boards that were only 2 feet in length. I hand flattened the boards with hand planes, a task better accomplished when they are cut close to size. Since I am only a part time masochist, I never had any intention of thicknessing them by hand. To get around the snipe issues with my planer I decided to chain feed them into the planer with a sacrificial scrap of wood at the front and back. I am just not willing to lose a good 4 plus inches per board to snipe. I have done this with longer pieces at it works great. Problem is that I would need someone's help to do it with these short boards. That someone would have to be my wife and this is where the possibility of divorce comes in.
One thing I have learned is that men and women are from two different worlds. Hearing something and learning something are two different things. Trust me, I have "learned" that we are different. Two men can grab hold of a couch and carry it up several flights of stairs and though several rooms and not ever say anything except for a few communicative grunts and eye movements. My wife does not understand man grunts and any task we do together is often doomed to much stop and go as we "discuss" what we are doing. Often there is some problem because I have "failed to explain" what we were doing.
So I approached this task with much trepidation as I imagined something out of Lucy and Fudge Factory occurring. I very carefully and specifically spelled out what we were doing with a couple of trial runs. I especially emphasized that the boards had to laid back to me in the same orientation (up & down). Amazing enough it went off great with no problems. Well, there was one board that got fed in wrong (wrong side up) and as my wife quickly pointed out, that is the way it was when she got it. Oh, one other thing I have learned, sometimes it is your fault even if it wasn't.