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Thread: Close Call

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    ABQ NM
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    30,020

    Close Call

    I was at the bank today with my wife, and while I was there a man wearing a ski mask walked in, said "This is a robbery", and proceeded to rob the bank. On his way out, one of the other customers grabbed his mask and pulled it off, getting a good look at the robber. The robber turned and shot him. Then the robber noticed that a teller was staring at him, so he shot the teller. Before leaving, he said "Did anyone else see my face?" As I was crouching on the floor I said "I think my wife got a pretty good look at you."
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

    workingwoods.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    somewhere east of Queen Creek, AZ - South East of Phoenix
    Posts
    8,529
    A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
    The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
    ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

    "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
    "There’s a lot of work being done today that doesn’t have any soul in it. The technique may be the utmost perfection, yet it is lifeless. It doesn’t have a soul. I hope my furniture has a soul to it." - Sam Maloof
    The Pessimist complains about the wind; The Optimist expects it to change;The Realist adjusts the sails.~ William Arthur Ward

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Kansas City, Missouri
    Posts
    13,467
    Darren

    To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” – Robert Brault

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Thomasville, GA
    Posts
    6,000
    Sheesh!!! It's not even a full moon!
    Bill Arnold
    Citizen of Texas residing in Georgia.
    NRA Life Member and Member of Mensa
    My Weather Underground station

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Spitting distance north of Detroit Michigan
    Posts
    3,798
    You had me going

  6. #6
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    Nov 2006
    Location
    Delton, Michigan
    Posts
    17,477
    i expected to hear that vaughn shot the villian..
    If in Doubt, Build it Stout!
    One hand washes the other!
    Don't put off today till tomorrow!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Oceanside, So. Calif. 5 mi. to the ocean
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    4,944
    Quote Originally Posted by larry merlau View Post
    i expected to hear that vaughn shot the villian..
    With an arrow and a dirty look.

    Enjoy,

    JimB
    First of all you have to be smarter than the machine.
    VOTING MEMBER

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    bethel springs TN, but was born and raised in north east PA
    Posts
    3,132

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
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    1,898
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim C Bradley View Post
    With an arrow and a dirty look.
    Stabbed him with a roughing gouge!
    Jesus was a Woodworker

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    ABQ NM
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    30,020
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim C Bradley View Post
    With an arrow and a dirty look...
    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Mooney View Post
    Stabbed him with a roughing gouge!
    I think I would go with something that has a bit faster muzzle velocity than an arrow or a roughing gouge.
    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

    workingwoods.com

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