Hey Ryan. How about 40 acres in Arizona for 16,000. Be glad to sell it to ya, as i have no intention of ever moving back to a desert. It is in a realtors hands right now.
Well I lived in the Phx area for a bit over 9 years and I can sympathize with your desire to not move back to the desert. Warm is nice, 120F is no longer warm! And frankly I've chipped enough holes in caliche to put a tree in to feel pretty good about skipping over that. I'm guessing if its in an area where 40a is 16k the water situation is likely "interesting" (somewhere between none, hey look my well is delivering salt water, and worse) based on previous experiences
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Weirdly Hawaii isn't actually as bad as it first seems. Sure property is 2x as expensive for 1/8 the amount
but you can grow things year round and ever place of any size at all (1 acre+) has an ohana (or 3, only one is legal.. but.. yeah) that you can rent for ~20k/year which covers a lot of the property cost difference and diversifies income long term. Note: I am well aware of the downsides of being a landlord so that's a definite mark on the con column. Culturally its not for everyone, but I lived there for 3 years and still have a bunch of friends so have overcome some small part of that hurdle (just don't get in a hurry to do
anything, be prepared to "lubricate" all transactions with a case of beer and you'll mostly do ok - you can't live/eat like you're on the mainland.. because you're not). Might have to go full neander with the power rates though
Also in the running are some locations in the SE, they fail on some of the locality parts (family is all NW which is contrary to lomls warmth and sunlight criteria) but do well in some other areas re: cost/capabilities.
Heck I'll throw the whole list of "interesting attributes" (so far) out there; might spark some ideas anyway.
travel family (days)
tax rates (1 best, 3 worst)
growing season days
airport proximity (hours)
climate zone
homebrew store w/i 1 hr? (could add wwing or <other hobby> here.
snow "/yr
rainfall "/yr
sunny days
air quality index - 100 is best
other air quality index(lower better)
cost of living (100 average) entertainment
acreages in price range
violent crime (1 is low)
property crime (1 is low)
climate comfort index (100 is good)
Additional Disclaimer: in my case at least "retirement" is misstating it, perhaps more "alternatively lower income arrangement in trade for commensurate stress levels" would be more accurate, still plenty to do.