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Thread: John decided to tie the knot

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Oak Harbor Washington on Whidbey Island
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    3,134

    John decided to tie the knot

    John decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was in his shop, turning some wood on a new lathe that he had bought.
    His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks …
    “Honey, I’ve been thinking … now that we are married, I think it’s time you quit woodworking. Maybe you should …sell all your tools.”
    John gets this horrified look on his face!
    She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
    John replies, “There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
    “Ex-wife?!!”, she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!!!”
    John continues turning & responds, “I wasn’
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Outside the beltway
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    5,250
    That must of got her attention LOL
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::
    colonialrestorationstudio.com

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Thomasville, GA
    Posts
    5,992
    Bill Arnold
    Citizen of Texas residing in Georgia.
    NRA Life Member and Member of Mensa
    My Weather Underground station

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    new york city burbs
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    thats similar to a piece of maple I have hanging in my shop that I wrote a saying on....my wife told me its either her or woodworking, Im sure gonna miss her.
    Human Test Dummy

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Tellico Plains, Tennessee
    Posts
    4,351
    That was fun... reminded me of an old story about a Texas Rancher that married the local school marm... after the ceremony they were headed for the ranch, he on his big palomino stallion and she on a white mare... as they rode along, the palomino suddenly stumbled, fell and threw the rancher... he got up, dusted off, re-adjusted the saddle, said "That's one" and got back on the trail... short time later the palomino stumbled, fell and threw the rancher... he got up, dusted off, adjusted the saddle, said "That's two", got back in the saddle and back on the trail... after a short distance further, the palomino stumbled again, fell and threw the rancher... he got up dusted himself off, said "That's three" and pulled his pistol and shot the horse.
    At that point the new Rancher's wife went ballistic, railed against the rancher for shooting a perfectly magnificent stallion. The Rancher stood and listened patiently until she finished... then said "That's one".
    Chuck
    Tellico Plains, TN
    https://www.etsy.com/shop/TellicoTurnings
    My parents taught me to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder to find any.
    If you go looking for trouble, it will usually find you.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Amherst, New Hampshire
    Posts
    10,604
    I love it Bart
    Faith, Hope & Charity

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