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Thread: John decided to tie the knot

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Oak Harbor Washington on Whidbey Island

    John decided to tie the knot

    John decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was in his shop, turning some wood on a new lathe that he had bought.
    His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks …
    “Honey, I’ve been thinking … now that we are married, I think it’s time you quit woodworking. Maybe you should …sell all your tools.”
    John gets this horrified look on his face!
    She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
    John replies, “There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
    “Ex-wife?!!”, she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!!!”
    John continues turning & responds, “I wasn’
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Outside the beltway
    That must of got her attention LOL
    I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not painting. It's in the subconscious.
    ::: Andrew Wyeth :::

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Thomasville, GA
    Bill Arnold
    Citizen of Texas residing in Georgia.
    NRA Life Member and Member of Mensa
    My Weather Underground station

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    new york city burbs
    thats similar to a piece of maple I have hanging in my shop that I wrote a saying wife told me its either her or woodworking, Im sure gonna miss her.
    Human Test Dummy

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Tellico Plains, Tennessee
    That was fun... reminded me of an old story about a Texas Rancher that married the local school marm... after the ceremony they were headed for the ranch, he on his big palomino stallion and she on a white mare... as they rode along, the palomino suddenly stumbled, fell and threw the rancher... he got up, dusted off, re-adjusted the saddle, said "That's one" and got back on the trail... short time later the palomino stumbled, fell and threw the rancher... he got up, dusted off, adjusted the saddle, said "That's two", got back in the saddle and back on the trail... after a short distance further, the palomino stumbled again, fell and threw the rancher... he got up dusted himself off, said "That's three" and pulled his pistol and shot the horse.
    At that point the new Rancher's wife went ballistic, railed against the rancher for shooting a perfectly magnificent stallion. The Rancher stood and listened patiently until she finished... then said "That's one".
    Tellico Plains, TN
    My parents taught me to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder to find any.
    If you go looking for trouble, it will usually find you.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Amherst, New Hampshire
    I love it Bart
    Faith, Hope & Charity

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