John decided to tie the knot

Bart Leetch

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Clinton, Washington on Whidbey Island
John decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was in his shop, turning some wood on a new lathe that he had bought.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks …
“Honey, I’ve been thinking … now that we are married, I think it’s time you quit woodworking. Maybe you should …sell all your tools.”
John gets this horrified look on his face!
She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
John replies, “There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife?!!”, she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!!!”
John continues turning & responds, “I wasn’
 
That was fun... reminded me of an old story about a Texas Rancher that married the local school marm... after the ceremony they were headed for the ranch, he on his big palomino stallion and she on a white mare... as they rode along, the palomino suddenly stumbled, fell and threw the rancher... he got up, dusted off, re-adjusted the saddle, said "That's one" and got back on the trail... short time later the palomino stumbled, fell and threw the rancher... he got up, dusted off, adjusted the saddle, said "That's two", got back in the saddle and back on the trail... after a short distance further, the palomino stumbled again, fell and threw the rancher... he got up dusted himself off, said "That's three" and pulled his pistol and shot the horse.
At that point the new Rancher's wife went ballistic, railed against the rancher for shooting a perfectly magnificent stallion. The Rancher stood and listened patiently until she finished... then said "That's one".
 
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