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Thread: Yesterday's shop accident

  1. #1
    Steve Clardy Guest

    Thumbs down Yesterday's shop accident

    A short while ago, I had an upsetting experience that raised a question that I really need answered.
    The other day, while I was in my shop testing the fit of a dado joint, I got the mother of all slivers stuck in the fat part of my thumb, so I went to the first-aid kit to get the tweezers. Well, when I started to dig around for the sliver, my thumb started to bleed. When that happened, I got sick to my stomach, and then I fainted. (Even though I have never been the least bit queasy about blood in my life!) Apparently, not that I remember it happening, I hit my head on the edge of my jointer's bed as I fell. This put a pretty nasty laceration across my forehead. After I regained consciousness, I stood up and tried to figure out just exactly what happened, and while I stood there, the blood from my forehead spurted all over the top of my table saw. When I saw the blood on my table saw, I got faint-headed and passed out again! Luckily, this time around I just kinda slumped down and ended up face-first in a large pile of sawdust. When I came to my senses, the congealed blood on my face and forehead had formed a sort of mask, covering my whole face. Naturally, I thought I had gone blind. So I stumbled towards where I thought the door of my shop should be and, by a sort of miracle, managed to find my way outside. But when I emerged from my shop in my weakened condition, weaving aimlessly and with my cries for help muffled by a huge clotted mass of blood and sawdust, the neighbor's dog noticed my very odd behavior and became disturbed and attacked me, grabbing my pants leg in its mouth while growling and pulling furiously on my pants. Well, I've lost a bit of weight lately, and the dog managed to pull my trousers completely off. That was when my neighbor, Phoebe, stuck her head out of the door to see what was getting her dog all worked up. So, here is my question ... am I really too old to be wearing Speedo® underwear, or is Phoebe just overly sensitive?

    Steve

  2. #2
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    I think it all depends upon what color the Speedos are.

    By the way, you owe me a keyboard!
    Irony: The opposite of Wrinkly

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I sure hope this is a April Fools story!

    Otherwise, I suggest you stay in bed for at least a week and start looking for a good realtor!
    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
    friend...if you have one."
    --George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second..if there is
    one."
    --Winston Churchill, in response




  4. #4
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    I have to admit, you had me going right up to the part about fainting again and landing face first in the saw dust!! That is just too funny! Jim.
    Coolmeadow Setters...
    Exclusively Irish!
    Home of Irish Setter Rescue of North Texas
    When Irish Eyes are smiling, they're usually up to something!!
    At a minimum, I'm Pentatoxic...but most likely, I'm a Pentaholic. There seems to be no known cure. Pentatonix, winners of The Sing Off, season 3


  5. #5
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    No pictures...

    Didn't happen!

    - Marty -
    Fivebraids, Inc.
    When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there’s no end to what you can’t do…

  6. #6
    Steve Clardy Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Richards View Post


    I think it all depends upon what color the Speedos are.

    By the way, you owe me a keyboard!


    Red. My favorite color


    I can't hardly read the replies, nor type now

  7. #7
    Steve Clardy Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Marty Walsh View Post
    No pictures...

    Didn't happen!

    - Marty -

    Nope. Camera is broken for today

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marty Walsh View Post
    No pictures...

    Didn't happen!

    - Marty -
    I think I'll forgo the picture needs for this one.

    Had me believing it for a while Steve.....good one.
    A very wise man once said.......
    "I'll take my chances with Misseurs Smith and Wesson. "

  9. #9
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    Your more than 1/2 bubble off plumb your nuts.
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

  10. #10
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    ROFLMAO!!!


    Steve, my sides hurt!

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