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Thread: Ran across some true to life humor

  1. #1
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    Ran across some true to life humor

    The Poodle

    A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her faithful pet poodle along for company.

    One day, the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long the poodle discovers that he is lost.

    So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

    The poodle thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now! Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here."

    Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the
    trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That poodle nearly had me."

    Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

    But the poodle saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

    The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

    Now the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?"

    But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet...and just when they get close enough to hear the poodle says..."Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

    "SOMETIMES BULL AND BRILLIANCE ARE THE SAME."

    I had to delete 4 letters in the last line.
    I must have really enjoyed this. I made a copy and filed it in my computer.

    Enjoy,
    JimB
    First of all you have to be smarter than the machine.
    VOTING MEMBER

  2. #2
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    Those Poodles are pretty smart dogs. I would have never admitted that until I had one. On my second one now, a standard, and she is even a lot smarter than my wife's little one was.
    "We the People ......"

  3. #3
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    Good one, Jim. (And kudos on self-moderating the text.)

    I'm not much of a small dog fan, but I'd take a standard poodle any day. Very intelligent animals. Plus, you can't do this with a lab or a German Shepherd...

    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson
    When the weird get going, they start their own forum. - Vaughn McMillan

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  4. #4
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    Great one Jim
    Faith, Hope & Charity

  5. #5
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    “If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull****” - W.C. Fields
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  6. #6
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    Now that's a very clever joke!
    Thoughts entering one's mind need not exit one's mouth!
    As I age my memory fades .... and that's a load off my mind!

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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vaughn McMillan View Post
    Good one, Jim. (And kudos on self-moderating the text.)

    I'm not much of a small dog fan, but I'd take a standard poodle any day. Very intelligent animals. Plus, you can't do this with a lab or a German Shepherd...

    You say that a standard poodle's smart but they will let you do this to them?????
    Last edited by Bart Leetch; 02-21-2014 at 03:20 PM.
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
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  9. #9
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    I remember a duck hunting show from when I was a kid. I think they were in Chesapeake Bay for some reason, maybe further north. Anyway, the water was full of ice, huge stuff from hundreds of pounds to tons size chunks. Some of it was grand piano size. Rough water too. Putting any dog in that seemed insane plus it seemed impossible for a dog to find a duck once they hit the water working blind because of all the ice. They were using standard poodles as retrievers and it was working just fine!

    Another popular use for standard poodles is personal protection. A lot of those froufrou looking dogs you see celebrities walking are attack trained. They may look silly but there is nothing silly but the hairdo on a working bred standard poodle. Some pretty big dogs too, at least as big as a lab or shepherd. Taller and rangier, maybe more like a Doberman under the hair.

    Hu

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vaughn McMillan View Post
    Good one, Jim. (And kudos on self-moderating the text.)

    I'm not much of a small dog fan, but I'd take a standard poodle any day. Very intelligent animals. Plus, you can't do this with a lab or a German Shepherd...


    This is why dogs kill their owners.
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    Roger


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