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Doing Whats Right with Finances

Mike WOW - you have a dilemma.

My views are likely not shared by many, but I will give them, at the risk of sounding like an uncaring person.

First off - I am NOT an uncaring person.

I have two kids and I love them very much.

I have been married 37 years and am now 60 years old.

As to what to leave to the kids? Nothing really. Some momentos - no bills - do depts.

Just the memories - but loads of memories.

Diane and I have had a conversations with the kids, Daughter of 35 and son 33 - We told them - don't plan on much of an inheritance.

Diane and I are going to live on everything that we have and leave life with about what we can in with - nothing.

As to - the possessions - furniture, etc. Well the house will most likely be sold, and we will live on that. Insurance policies, 401K, savings - will all become what we live on.

I will flately refuse to do anything without Diane involved - just will not do that - so I cannot advise you there.

Both my kids will be joint executors - neither will have the upper hand over the other. They already know that.

Anything that is left will belong jointly to them - equally. The way they have been raised and the relationship they have - will allow them to make rational decisions as to what to do.

We - and I mean Diane and I as well as my kids are at peace with all of this.

All I can say is - trust the kids - and live on your savings. Don't worry so much about "leaving an inheritance". That is not a necessary thing to do. I got little to nothing from my folks - neither did Diane. We don't feel bad about that. But we remember and love those that are gone. After all - isn't THAT - what it is all about. Of all these things - nothing is greater than love.
 
I'm no lawyer and I don't know about NC but, in CA without a will you may as well just hand everything over. Probate has a funny way of costing nearly everything that is available before finally coming to a close. If you don't formally declare your desires, the courts will take care of that for you. Take 30 minutes and draw up a simple will. At least that way your heirs will have some leg to stand on when the battle begins. Better to leave a will and avoid any confusion or contesting of your wishes.
 
Ted Calver said:
Not a lawyer and will not judge what you are trying to do. My best advise is spend a few hundred $$ and consult a lawyer experienced in wills and trusts and estate planning in your state. Passing away intestate (without a will) has it's own set of rules for each state. Here is what the general rules for NC are:
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/intestate-succession-north-carolina.html
http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/statutes/StatutesTOC.pl?Chapter=0029
Click to expand...

I'm with Ted all the way.

I'm also not an attorney either, but mine advised me that despite what you & your wife feel now, they can easily change over the years, especially since you are both young. Doing your estate planning (in total- Will-Living Will-Power of Attorney, etc, etc.) with an attorney is the safest way to ensure your wishes are protected & administered. Having a "Revocable Will" with both of you as Co-Trustees ensures that you will be able to change the Will together in the future as changes to your lives may dictate, and they probably will, including your current thinking As the male in your marriage, the likely-hood is that you may pass on before your wife. Should you pass on, your wife becomes the surviving Trustee and she can then choose to honor or change the Will. Before that happens you'll both have a chance to convey your wishes to your children & let them know that a Will is in effect. Should both you & your wife meet an untimely death at the same time, then the Will will see to the kids. Once you have a Will, you'll be very satisfied to have taken this precaution & will feel secure in that your estate will be administered as YOU wished.
 
And if you want to read tons about this sort of thing, go to nolo.com. You may still want to seek an attorney. And if yours is a church going family, you may want to talk with your pastor/priest about your wife's reluctance to deal with this issue, which benefits the entire family. Sometimes we can be helpful with these things.
 
No solution to your problem - but a 'family anecdote:'

My mother-in-law once said "I don't know what'll be worse; running out of money before I die, or dying before I run out of money."

She just about broke even - she had less than $600 in her bank account when she died.
 
Maybe you could do a reverese mortgage on the house, and give the kids the cash now.

God only knows what the inheritance tax will be as things change DAILY in Washington.

Maybe buy 3 good Cigars and share them when you hand out the CASH. Daddy Warbucks style!--LOL

As to the rest of it. Whatever you list, they TAX. Bandsaw, wood chisles, bench brush, old rags, etc... Although spouse may not have to pay tax on it.

Different areas have differnt rules.

 
God willing, the farm will be paid off before I die. Leaving it to both girls. As stated, plan on leaving them no debt. Lou and I have a will with a lawyer presiding. Lou gets all my insurance with the girls 50/50 if Lou and I would die together.
 
there are so many factors that come into play once someone is gone and has no will.
People think oh well, I trust my children will do the right thing, they are so close, they would never fight over anything, but things change.
Children get married, finances get strained, people change, money can do funny things to even the closest family.
Ive know of families who stop speaking to each other because spouses got involved after parents died and it put siblings in a tough spot.
A simple will detailing your wishes will help a lot once youre gone.
I not only have a will, I have lists for when I go, detailing how I want everything I own to be distributed or sold.
Ive explained my wishes to my children and my wife, and have even given them a list of who to deal with(if they are still around and active) to help carry out my wishes in case I go sooner than later.
(right down to my chisels and handplanes, I want no bickering or wondering how should anything I have be disposed of or distributed)
 
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Bobbie and I have wills as well as life directives. We need to do some updates to ensure things are handled as we want.

I have five children, 11 grands and one great-grandchild with another great on the way. Bobbie has one child and one grand. Everything we have has been paid off for years. We will ensure there can be no valid fights in the end by specifically excluding certain people by name (we have valid reasons).

When asked by a family member not related directly to us how we were handling our wills, we stated that everything was being left to a non-profit organization. Basically, it is none of my FILs business so we shut him up that way!!!

Whatever you do, do it right. My father left a hand-written, signed will that turned out to be invalid because he did not have someone witness his signature. They had a friend who was an attorney who handled all the paperwork to straighten out everything at no charge, except for any local or state fees, which were minimal.
 
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