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Thread: 'Quick before it starts"

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    somewhere east of Queen Creek, AZ - South East of Phoenix

    'Quick before it starts"

    A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife:

    “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”

    She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said:

    “Quick, bring me another beer. It’s gonna start.”

    This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

    When it was gone, he said: “Quick, another beer before it starts.”

    “That’s it!” She blows her top, “You (cuss word for illegitimate child) ! You waltz in here, flop your fat (cuss word for Butt) down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”

    The husband sighed: “Oh, it started!”

    "There’s a lot of work being done today that doesn’t have any soul in it. The technique may be the utmost perfection, yet it is lifeless. It doesn’t have a soul. I hope my furniture has a soul to it." - Sam Maloof
    The Pessimist complains about the wind; The Optimist expects it to change;The Realist adjusts the sails.~ William Arthur Ward

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Parker County, Texas
    Funny! I like it. Gotta remember that one.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    The Gorge Area, Oregon
    If I had a dollar for every time I've told that joke I could take LOML out for a real nice dinner as an apology for telling it around her so many times (to be clear that's not how it is here at all - but that is one of my go-to jokes).
    Love thy neighbor, yet pull down not thy hedge.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Kansas City, Missouri
    My wife would simply say "Oh, it started already, get your own beer."

    To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” – Robert Brault

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