Chocolate Milk-A true story
Let me start by saying that my brother was 8 years old, and I was 4 years old and made quite the team. At that age we were also pretty naive, so when our grandfather told us we could get chocolate milk out of our dairy cow, well we were impressed.
Now at those ages you can only do two things, use what you love and know, and use what you got. Now friends, I can stand here and tell you with no sense of dishonesty that getting a Jersey cow to eat an entire Hershey Chocolate bar is not easy. We tried disguising it in hay, in grass silage, even in hay dripping with molasses, and still she would not eat it. With failure not being an option, we had one more trick up our sleeves. Knowing that cows are vegetarians, and that they have flat teeth for pulverizing grass stems but teeth that cannot bite you, my brother shoved his fist into the cows mouth and pryed it open, so we could SHOVE a Hershey chocolate bar into a cows mouth. Oh yeah, even with that plan we had some difficulty. Now that poor girl did not really like the force feeding, but she finally took the candy bar and was happy again.
Well that is until we decided that if she had chocolate in her stomach we concluded that we needed to mix her new diet up. So we grabbed this poor cow by the bridle and took her for a good stomping good time.
Now friends, that is an out right lie. Neither her, nor us had a very good time. The pasture was filled with rocks, brambles and yes a plethora of what Roscoe P Cotrain of the Dukes of Hazard would call Meadow Muffins. Avoiding them while holding onto a lazy dairy cow and trying to get her to jive to a dangerous exercise routine was not easy. In fact it was nearly impossible, but I am sure my Grandmother and Grandfather watched it all from the window of the house, probably rolling in hysterics as we ran, fell, pulled and cussed that poor battered bovine.
Well in case you are wondering, the whole ordeal ended rather sadly. Old Beatrice managed to live out the ordeal, but man was my brother and I some sad when we watched my Grandfather milk her that night and nothing but white milk came out of her. I guess you just can't get choclate milk out of a cow no matter what you feed her! :-)
(Sorry guys, probably a let down since this tale was not a joke, but all joking aside, some of my fondest memories was growing up on a farm. Unfortunately only 2% of Americans will ever know what that was like. It was hard work, but fun at times too. Thanks for letting me share one of my many farm stories.)
No one person here is smarter than all of us put together!!
I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"