Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Don't drink....................

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Central CA
    Posts
    797

    Don't drink....................

    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs.

    The son is just a head!

    The dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

    After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink.

    Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him, and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.

    With the entire bar patrons looking on curiously, and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.

    The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoop! Two arms pop out.

    The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.

    By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink, and guzzles the last of it. Swoop! Two legs pop out.

    The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees, and tearfully thanks God.

    The boy stands up on his new legs, and stumbles to the left....then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.

    The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says... "He should have quit while he was a head!"
    Thanks, Mark.

    Custom Bonehead.

    My diet is working good. I'm down to needing just one chair now.

    "Just think how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider!" --George Carlin

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Constantine, MI
    Posts
    6,975
    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Rios View Post
    The father moans in grief.
    So did I.
    “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will.” - Chuck Palahniuk

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Rios View Post
    "He should have quit while he was a head!"

    Mark you should have quit when you were a head


    WoodWorking, Crappie Fishing, Colts, Life is good!

  4. #4
    Yep, I kicked the sides off my cradle on that one.

  5. #5
    You are a sad person, Mark...

    I did snicker a bit...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Central NY State
    Posts
    3,362
    Reminds me of the fella without arms or legs. He'd just lay around by the front door. His name was


    Matt.

    His twin brother liked to hang around on a peg on the wall. They called him

    Art.

    They had a similarly afflicted cousin. He enjoyed autumn leaves, in which he would roll.


    Yup, he was Russell


    I gotta go, before I am expelled from this site.

    Ken

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,434
    Quote Originally Posted by ken werner View Post
    Reminds me of the fella without arms or legs. He'd just lay around by the front door. His name was


    Matt.

    His twin brother liked to hang around on a peg on the wall. They called him

    Art.

    They had a similarly afflicted cousin. He enjoyed autumn leaves, in which he would roll.


    Yup, he was Russell


    I gotta go, before I am expelled from this site.

    Ken
    ...and another cousin who liked the water....his name was "Bob"....

    I better quit too....while I'm a .....never mind.
    A very wise man once said.......
    "I'll take my chances with Misseurs Smith and Wesson. "

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Mountain Home, Arkansas
    Posts
    11,697
    Bad. Really bad.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Central NY State
    Posts
    3,362
    I never did claim to have good taste.

    Ken

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Central NY State
    Posts
    3,362

    And another thing...

    the reason the dad took him to a bar in the first place is that the son told him

    "gee Dad, now that I'm 21, please don't buy me another hat..."

Similar Threads

  1. Don't Drink and Drive???
    By Jim C Bradley in forum General Woodworking Q&A
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-17-2015, 09:46 PM
  2. Anyone here drink Chrysanthemum Tea?
    By Rob Keeble in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-27-2013, 08:51 PM
  3. Drink Coasters - Finish with Poly?
    By glenn bradley in forum Finishing School
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-09-2011, 11:30 AM
  4. drink alot of water and then some!
    By allen levine in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-15-2008, 11:21 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •