Life, Liberty and the Prusuit of Woodworking

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This is kind of a double-introduction as I have been on this website since its infancy. Still this is something I wanted to share for quite awhile, and since this place is pretty close knit, I think it is something people on here will relate to.

Lets just say that on September 5th 2004 I had a bad day…a really bad day. The train I was driving suddenly dynamited leaving me stuck on the mainline near Cameron, MO. If getting screamed at by every railroad supervisor on the planet was not bad enough, I got a call from my wife. My parents house had just burned to the ground. To make a long story short, I flew home to find two things. The charred remains of my parents home, and my own house half-cleaned out. Apparently my wife had found a boyfriend online and was leaving me after 9 years of marriage. Because of the fire, I came home before she could clean out the house and be gone.

Its hard to explain, but her leaving basically left me with nothing. In one days time I suddenly had no job, no car, no wife, no parents next door and no way to travel in this isolated rural town to get anything. So I did what a lot of people would do if they were in the same situations as me. I called the Sheriff Dept, told them where I would be, then grabbed a rope, fitting it into a noose and tied it to the house rafters and jumped…

Now my call to the sheriff Dept was so my parents would not find my body. I did not want to put them through that, but I had no way of knowing that a Deputy was very close by, perhaps by divine intervention since I live in the middle of nowhere, even by Maine standards.. Anyway the Deputy cut me down, got me to the hospital and eventually got me to another hospital.

I spent 5 days in a mental hospital getting help. I am not proud of that fact, and in fact pretty ashamed. But in some ways it was what I needed. It was the darkest part of my life. I have never been to jail so being locked up for those 5 days was pretty horrific. So was seeing some of the patients in there. Either way its not a 5 days I look back on fondly. Still I recovered and I moved on.

So how does this story all relate to woodworking? Well I changed. I look at life different now. Every time I complete a project…no matter how small…I realize that its something that never would have been created if that Deputy had not been driving by the house. I also have an enormous amount of patience too. When you have rope burns on your neck, you realize that having dust nibs in your finish really does not matter. It can be redone. In fact, anything can be redone, only life and body parts can not be fixed or replaced. Its that kind of attitude that makes life enjoyable.

I just hope other woodworkers that read this, get two things out of this. If things look pretty bleak, get some help. Its embarrassing I know, as I can attest to four years later. Still get some help if you need it. The other thing is to look at your skills in a new light. Don’t be angered by the little things in life. You are created something out of nothing really. Take pride in your ability to see things in something else, and to make that vision become tangible. Most of all though, realize life is indeed good.

As for me, well I managed to find another railroad job here at home, bought a truck to get around in, and even found a girlfriend, all within a week of getting out of the awful hospital. Eventually Patty and I wed, and even had a daughter named Alyson. I just amazes me that four years ago I almost ended everything. Alyson would have never been created, my house would still be small, and Patty living alone still. Its just almost unfathomable me not being here.

Life is not perfect I know, it never is, but I must say life is indeed good. Fellow woodworkers, realize that before its too late.

Aly_and_Bucksport.JPG
 
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That's quite a story Travis. I too am glad the deputy was near by, because if he weren't we would not be able to enjoy and appreciate your input. As you have found out, as dark and bad as things are, times change and often for the better! Thanks for sharing and I'm glad your world is a better place now, as is ours for having you a part of it!
 
Travis,

That was very moving. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. I too am glad that the deputy was near by.

This really puts things in perspective - Thank you!

So how does this story all relate to woodworking? Well I changed. I look at life different now. Every time I complete a project…no matter how small…I realize that its something that never would have been created if that Deputy had not been driving by the house. I also have an enormous amount of patience too. When you have rope burns on your neck, you realize that having dust nibs in your finish really does not matter. It can be redone. In fact, anything can be redone, only life and body parts can not be fixed or replaced. Its that kind of attitude that makes life enjoyable.
 
Dear Travis,
It is so good to have you here with us today, bringing Patty and Alyson into the picture by what I too would consider "Divine intervention"!:thumb:.
Thank you for sharing your rebirth from literally a dying moment. You have brought tears to my eyes with the joy in your awakening.
Enjoy the day.
Shaz
 
Travis - thanks for posting - I know that this is a difficult kind of thing to share and also know the value that can come to all parties from sharing.

I have an understanding of some of the feelings involved that I am grateful for, and wish that I had never had. There you go. Despair and depression create complex energies that are as powerful as they are disturbing.

I am delighted that your life seems to be on an upswing all the way round at the moment. Sometimes realising how close you came to losing everything helps to put anything else into perspective.
 
Travis..........................
That had to be hard to share.........Thankyou for sharing.

Have a saying

"When you are done pick yourself up by your boot straps, move on"

You did just that.
God bless you and yours.
 
Travis,

It's very nice to meet you. Thank you for the introduction, and for opening your soul to us. Your daughter is beautiful, and I am sure that no matter how dark those days were for you, (and they sound like they were very dark) I'm sure that you will find a way to dig deep and turn your experiences to a useful purpose for your wife and daughter when they need you to be their rock.

Years ago I worked with some men in the mines in Northern Ontario whose life philosophy was summed up in a greeting and parting phrase that only hard rock miners might have heard, yet it's applicable universally, so I'll finish this post and wish it for you .... "take easy - make nice".

John
 
I too am very glad that deputy was close by Travis. It is simply amazing how many long playing events can come to a head in one day to totally change the life of someone, as he/she knows it.
I won't go into my whole story but the high points were something like this:

I didn't quite make it home in time like you did Travis. My wife and kids were visiting with her parents a few hours south and had been there for a few weeks. I came home from work to find a few light bulbs and a whole lot of trash.

I too went for the counseling and was incarcerated for a little less than a week. I even moved to another house. I went nuts losing my kids like that.

The way I was raised, I didn't have a clue that people used drugs and not one of my friends knew anyone who had a gun.
When I finally decided that I was going to blow my brains out, I set about getting a gun the only way I knew how. I started saving my money for one.
For six or seven months I saved every nickel I could and finally bought me a Colt King Cobra. I figured that would do the job nicely.

One night in my new house I got myself a bottle and proceeded to get drunker than Cooter Brown. I had this huge black loaded hand cannon and kept pointing it at my temple and under my chin all the time with my finger on the trigger. I kept thinking, I might as well have another drink. I have all night to do this.
Well, all of the sudden it hit me, who in this whole world but me would save money for months to buy a gun to shoot himself?? And I started laughing. I'm glad I was alone. They really would have had me committed.
I threw the gun across the room into a chair (thinking back, with my luck, that was the time it would have gone off and shot me) and laughed. I laughed for at least 30 minutes hard enough to be sore for a week later.

I'm still here and I have a house full of guns. I love to target shoot. I never did re-marry and don't intend to. I have met many good people such as the friends I have made here in the family.

Sometimes life is good, sometimes not so good but I am glad I'm still around.

Thanks for sharing Travis, we are glad you are still around too.

DT
 
Over the years I have seen a few posts by other woodworkers where you could just tell things were bleak. They make posts on woodworking forums explaining how they can't get into into the shop anymore because the wife is ill, or there is financial problems and the like...it hard to describe, but you can just tell from the tone of that their posts that things are really bothering them.

I think three times I have privately emailed other woodworkers and told them that story. None said they were close to doing what Don and I came close to, but at least they got to see a different perspective. Hopefully it made them see that things aren't so bad.

To be honest with you, I did not figure I would get many responses to this story. I was not sure too many people could relate, and that they would just think I was crazy. It really is amazing how in a survival situation the human brain can overcome almost anything just to survive, and yet it can also go to the opposite extreme and try to make is self-destruct.

I will say however, that this experience really has made me more patient. When you have been through what I have been through, every other thing that goes wrong seems so minor, that it is very easy to deal with.
 
Travis, I'm not surprised at all by the number of responses. This is a pretty supportive gang of people here. I don't think there are many folks who can honestly say they've never at least thought about taking such drastic action when things were bleak. I'd bet more people can relate that you might think.

I've had some times when I hit bottom pretty hard, and the experience gained from climbing out of holes like that is priceless. Like you, I've gained patience and optimism in the process.
 
Yep, I too have been close to where you have been Travis, thank the good Lord, not as drastic as your experience, but still, a very deep, dark few weeks in my life that I'd not wish on anyone. Coming through it was hard work, helped out by family, friends and time.

I too am not surprised about the response here.

Cheers!
 
Travis and Don

Thank you for your courage in sharing a very tough time that each of you went through. I am at a loss for words, but yours will stay with me.

Jay
 
Travis...I've been silent on this forum for some time but felt moved to answer your post to say a big THANK YOU. Thank you for your candor and honesty. You too Don.

Your words and willingness to share are impressive. We all have been down some kind of bleak path...some further than others. Your living testament that recovery and healing are possible, no matter how far down the path you have gone, is an incredible gift you two have given us.

Congratulations on being here...very glad you both are.
 
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