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Thread: Leave it to a farmer

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    New Springfield OH
    Posts
    806

    Leave it to a farmer

    A Maine Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm
    and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect
    your land for a possible new road."

    The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field. "

    The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State of Maine to go anywhere I want. See this card? I am allowed to go
    wherever I wish in the State.
    So the old farmer went about his farm chores.

    Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways
    employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull.
    The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and was gaining on the employee
    at every step.

    The old farmer called out, "Show him your card ! ",
    "SHOW HIM YOUR,CARD!!!!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    ozarks
    Posts
    4,992
    love them farmers.......
    [SIZE="1"] associated with several importers and manufacturers.[/SIZE]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Tokyo Japan
    Posts
    15,582
    CLASSIC
    The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
    William Arthur Ward

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Central NY State
    Posts
    3,362
    My wife and I once took a trip around Ireland. She found an old book about the not well known stone circles, and we'd go off the beaten path to find them. We were in a rural area, on a dirt road looking for one, and all we found was a cattle fence with a sign "beware of bull." Went up and down that road, until we met a sheep farmer.

    "lookin for the stone circle?" he asked "you're the first tourists this year"

    yup

    "go to the fence that says beware of bull, go in there and....."

    the land owner had put up the sign to discourage tourists.

    No bull, and we did get to see a most wonderful ancient place. Afterwards, Ian, the sheep farmer had us to his home for tea. True story.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Monroe, MI
    Posts
    470
    That's great!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,434
    Here's another.......

    A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he's retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."

    "What's country style?" asks the city boy.

    "Out here in the country," the farmer says, "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the groin as hard as he can. Then that feller kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin' wins the dispute."..."Since you are on my land, I go first".

    Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he's ever felt, crying like a baby and coughing up blood. Finally he staggers to his feet and says, "All right, n-now it'sĖit's m-my turn."

    The farmer grins. " Nah...... Keep the duck."
    A very wise man once said.......
    "I'll take my chances with Misseurs Smith and Wesson. "

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