Talk about snake bite

I try to stay as far away as I can from ANY snake!! In fact does anyone know where I can get some snake poison? These stupid snakes have me cornered.

It all started a few weeks ago at about 10 o clock. The wife asked me to move some potted plants that were kind of dead. When I started to move one, this snake started slithering out of its hole. Well to say I am not the most friendliest snake guy around is an understatement. So after a moment of thought (1.2 seconds to be exact), I stifled a stream and tossed a big rock at the snake.

It did not kill him, but pinned him. Not deterred by this 14 inch creature of the devil, I grabbed a metal rake and clobbered him until he died screaming "come on out and play you pansie," and a few other choice words that cannot be typed here.

Well I felt pretty proud of myself until stepped out of the house an hour later. Apparently he had two friends that were mourning his loss because they were right next to his dead, dying, mutilated, chopped up carcass that used to resemble a snake.

Wanting to run and cry like a girl into the house, I found my man pants and took further action. Now granted I was scared. These two snakes were at least 18 inches long and slithering and a sliding next to their pal. Knowing full well I would never be able to walk around the front door until snow fall, I crept behind the closest one, shovel in hand, held high overhead to produce the biggest smack possible... and then let him have it. Oh he died quick, but I let a few hundred more smacks rain down with that shovel just to be sure. And friends I am sure he is dead as he is pretty much as flat as the gravel he sits on because he took one good thumping.

The problem is, that threesome is now down to one, but I still know he is there. He on the other hand is not about to move his residence underneath the house. So If I can get some snake poison and set it out for him, I won't have to use the back door anymore to avoid him. Any ideas on how to entice this menace from his lair so I can make his life insurance agent cough up some more cabbage for his demise?

In any case, I am not about to even come close to putting some poisinois snake down my throat for kicks. Of course that would be unlikely anyway, Maine is the ONLY state that does not have any poisonous snakes.


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No one person here is smarter than all of us put together!!
 
You guys are mean to those poor snakes. While I wouldn't keep one as a pet I'm not afraid to handle non poisonous ones.

In fact I encourage their existence around here.

Steve, you only get the Darwin award when if you die doing something stupid
 
Y
Steve, you only get the Darwin award when if you die doing something stupid

I always understood that to be so, but I got a email from someone (Maybe Karl) that this years winner did live, but his stupidity was so bad he was granted the award.

Anyone have that list?...or is it a made up one?
 
Boy oh boy, this guy is stupid! :rolleyes:

I grew up around rattlers, they are nasty, if you have ever heard that "rattle" up close and personal.........well, let me say, it is a sound you are not going to forget anytime soon.

Wanna bet there were a few adult beverages involved in this one? :rofl:
 
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