Car woes...the whole darn saga...

scott spencer

Member
Messages
953
Location
Rochester, NY
With 6 busy kids, that includes 2 older teens and a 20 YO, demands on our vehicles is high. My 20 YO is a car's worst enemy...'course, it's not his fault! :rolleyes::dunno:. My Mom's generous offer of her '97 Metro for college wheels in August of 2006 lasted about a month when the swing arm broke away from the frame due to some unnoticed corrosion...."not his fault" (really! :huh:). He was lucky to be at slow speed when it gave way. $75 to tow it.

In October I purchased a terrific '99 Lumina to suppliment our 15 passenger "mini-bus", and we let junior drive our aging '97 Sunfire to and from college. It was burning a little anti-freeze/coolant (not a good sign), but was running ok... we'd just add more antifreeze every week or so. In February Junior forgets to add coolant and overheats the car (and keeps driving!), and does some serious motor damage...."not his fault". :huh: About this time he also drops out of school, so I'm in no hurry to sink $1500 into a car with a $140K miles on it for a kid who's "trying to find himself" :rolleyes: ...we end up dragging him to and from a temporary job so he can save and get his own car. :thumb: 3 months of this go by and he's saved nearly ...drum roll please ....$500 including $317 from his tax return! :eek: @!%&* :mad: ...I was about to show him why I played middle linebacker, but his mom intervened, so at least he didn't get hurt! :rolleyes: :mad: ("russin, frussin, fritzen, fratzen...")

On March 17th (my birthday), Junior #1 drives Junior #2 to play practice so my wife can take me to breakfast...yippee! :) (nice kid! :thumb:) Cell phone rings at 9:17a.m. as we're pulling into the diner.... I hear, "I'm so sorry Mom...". :eek: He spun in snow on the expressway and snapped the rear axle off along with alot of other damage... totalled.... :(. At this point, I'm hungry and upset, but grateful that both boys were ok. Two week old new tires on this car, and it was terrific in snow....but he spins while 2,186 other cars make it thorugh unscathed..."not his fault". :huh: I get a new 2007 Hyundai along with a big fat payment book for my BD! :thumb::eek: :huh:

Fast forward to September 2007. Found a $500 '91 Mercury w/80K miles to tide us over until my brother finishes the motor work on the Sunfire...runs like a top, gives us a bit of "transportation insurance", and gets better than 1 mile/gal. :eek: :rolleyes: ...After several months of demotivation and procrastination, followed by some more procrastination by my brother (runs in the family), two rental cars, two new front tires, recharging the AC, and changing the oil in all 4 vehicles this week, the darn Sunfire fails inspection for front brakes yesterday! (and junior's broke of course!) :bang:. I'm so tired of car troubles! ...Ace Woodworker to the rescue... :wave:. Got the brakes torn apart on one side before bed last night, up at daybreak, brakes finished up by 8am, inspection sticker and breakfast by 10am. :thumb:

There's no real point to this rant, but God knows we need to get a few months of quality use out of this fleet of 4 vehicles this year! PLEEEAASE! :bow: So what are you doing this weekend? ;)
 
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Scott, I think it is time, even past time, to have a short, quiet, but firm, talk with the 20 YO.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out!​
 
Scott, I think it is time, even past time, to have a short, quiet, but firm, talk with the 20 YO.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out!​

:rofl: No kidding! I think you and I would see eye to eye on this. How is it that my wife, who literally weighs 100# less than me, gets the final say on nearly everything?! :dunno:

He's at least back to school now and is toting his 18 YO sister to and from the community college along with him, so he's currently a "contributing" member of the family! :thumb: My understanding from my friends who have already gone thru the 20 YO "male thing", is that one day I'll get smarter... :rolleyes: :D
 
Sorry to hear about the transportation issues Scott. It sounds like you've owned more cars in the last year than most people have in a lifetime.:(

Dear ol' Mom would tell me as I walked out the door - "If you wreck the car, it better kill ya' - if not, I will!":eek::rofl: Needless to say, it always came home in one piece - and I stayed in one too!

Let's just hope you've heard the last word on cars for a while.

Wes
 
:rofl: No kidding! I think you and I would see eye to eye on this. How is it that my wife, who literally weighs 100# less than me, gets the final say on nearly everything?! :dunno:

Because your wife is an enabler, he's still her "baby", and she doesn't want to risk "losing" him. Ask me how I know that - I've had a 20-year-old son before!! Believe me, there will come a time in your life when you will laugh about this, but don't hold your breath getting the money. My 36-year-old is still into us for about $20K, for five cars that we've fronted for him!!

There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, but it may take you ten years to get there.

You have my sincere sympathies.

Nancy (90 days)
 
I know where your coming from Scott, been down that road with broken cars, Broken tractors, Today it's a broken bulldozer.

My parents never bought any of us kids a car. If we wanted it we found a way to get to work to buy one.

I've seen the problem Nancy has too, My oldest sisters youngest boy is a huge mooch. She keeps helping him out. :dunno:
 
I really don't have the problem with my son any more. I cut off the spigot about 8 years ago, and he's had to make it on his own. He's now driving an OTR semi, making decent money, and he's paying back--slowly but surely. But his credit is shot so Mom gets to buy things for him and put it on his account - like his new laptop!! Bah, humbug!!

Nancy (90 days)
 
Scott, welcome to real parenthood... aka the offspring support system. And you thought parenthood meant getting them through high school and outta the house. :rofl: Well, so did I. Oldest son is 23 and can't seem to hold a job. But it's not his fault. "I mean, just b/c I didn't take any crap from my boss..." Sheesh! And the 21 yr old can't seem to make a responsible decision either. He's a Marine and will soon be on his way back to Iraq, but his Mercury Sable wasn't "cool" enough. So he traded it in on a special high perfpormance Focus... twice the payments and twice the insurance. Well, at least I wasn't making the payments. Two clutches later (not his fault), he turned the car back to the bank b/c he couldn't afford to make the payments AND keep it running. See the pattern here? But wait, there's more. LOML borrows the money for him to buy a replacement so he can haul his daughter to and from her sitter (oh yeah, did I mention that he is a single dad?... but that's another story). Not all of our 5 (all grown) are like this. Just the 2 boys. Moral of the story? I have no idea... I'm just hopeful that they will both become men one day so I'm right there with you. Now let's cross our fingers and pray for the best. :D
 
Hi Scott

I can only tell you what we did with our three, or rather what we did with the first two, and what the third one is expecting when she starts next year. I told them that when they turned 16, they could get their license and drive all they wanted. They would buy their own car, and I would show them how to maintain it. Then it was their responsibility. They would pay their own insurance. If they failed to maintain the car, they would pay the repair bill, and any infractions of the law that caused an increase in the insurance rates would be paid by them.

We had no trouble with them driving in a reckless manner that we knew of, although the oldest had a couple of close calls - one mechanical and one perhaps weather related, or bad temper related. There were several expensive "failure to maintain" lessons learned, but overall they took good care of their vehicles, and those lessons sunk in very quickly. We did not let them drive our vehicles if theirs was broken, but we would transport them to or from the garage, and while it was in, they could pay for gas for us to take them back and forth to work.

Some people would say this was harsh and uncaring, but the two older kids are very responsible with their vehicles as a result. It sounds to me like Junior needs to start feeling a little pain, at least in the wallet. If he has no car and needs to work, he has two feet, and there must be some sort of public transportation available at some point, right? A little suffering is a good character builder.

Bill
 
Even though we were about 20 years behind the curve, our children are married and on their own and doing well. When the 'baby' left, it took us about a year to decompress. Our won't be coming back, I'm sure. They know we can't afford them. :D
 
I can only tell you what we did with our three, or rather what we did with the first two, and what the third one is expecting when she starts next year. ...

Some people would say this was harsh and uncaring,

Nope. I'd say firm, and very caring. I weep for children who's parents do not discipline them. They think they're being gentle and caring, and I believe they're being the opposite.

I expect to take Bill's approach as well as my kids get older. But with the understanding that all kids are different, and different kids will have different needs, personalities, inclinations, and so on. When I was a kid we got fair treatment, but unique also. I have no idea if my folks spent the same on each of us... in fact I'm sure they didn't, but they treated us fairly, firmly, and with love.
 
We got to drive our family cars and trucks, but we worked for the privilege, let me tell you we did!

When I got my first truck, I worked darn hard to buy it, and fix it up, no loans here, in fact my first loan was for a motorcycle that I paid back in 18 months, not the 4 years the loan was for. When I had my own cars/trucks/motorcycles, if it broke, I paid to fix it, my Dad was good enough to let us crash our cars and trucks in his garage to work on them, but that was about it.

I had one buddy on school who would crash a car about 3 times a year, never his fault either :rolleyes: His folks had money, so they just bought him another new car, one after another :bang:

It got to the point where we would not ride with him, forget it, he was just a lousy driver, and did not give a hoot.

Well he crashed one too many cars, his dad told him the car was his, no more new cars. He took the insurance claim and bought an older truck, and had not crashed again, or at least up until I lost touch with him when I moved here to Japan. Seems having to pay to fix his own busted up car made him slow down.

Scott, if my truck or such broke down, my Dad would not drive me to school/work, I had to ride my bicycle (gasp!) walk, take a bus, or get a ride from a friend. Sure made me think about keeping the oil topped up and the rad full of coolant.... :D :wave:

Good luck!
 
Scott, if none of the above suggestions work, you can always get him a MULE to ride to work/school. By the time he makes a couple of Slooooooow trips he should have plenty of time to meditate on what he's been doing wrong to get him in his current predicament, and "MIGHT" even figure out how to avoid it in the future.:rofl::rofl::rofl: (especially in these times, since he will have an additional problem of where he's going to "park" that mule).:D
 
To add some detail to preceding events...he did buy his first car and paid the insurance. That car was pretty old and just wore out. His first attempt at college did not go well, so he's now paying his own way for school. He did pay for half the repair costs to the Sunfire that's he's now driving, and he does pay the bulk of the insurance, including any surcharges for his past offenses. I was pretty darn ticked last winter when he didn't save as he had promised, but it has cost him in several other areas...we're offering alot less support than we had in the past, but as long as he's making a valid attempt to put himself through school, and is providing transportation for his sister, I don't mind helping close minor gaps if I can. He appears to be learning some lessons...it's just too bad he chooses to learn the hardway more often than not!

Thanks for all the input and listening to me spout off...:rolleyes:
 
Scott........Raising children is the most important job adults have and the one for which they are least prepared. My 3 were all a challenge in one way or another. It's difficult but sooner or later they have to stand on their own two feet and be responsible for their actions. It's tougher being a parent than being a friend but sometimes you have to be a parent and the kid has to learn responsibility. All 3 of mine have made their share of mistakes and all 3 have returned home at least once. Good luck with the challenge!
 
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