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Thread: Microsoft’s Bill Gates Hoof in Mouth disease

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Oak Harbor Washington on Whidbey Island

    Microsoft’s Bill Gates Hoof in Mouth disease

    Microsoft’s Bill Gates Hoof in Mouth disease

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
    reportedly compared the computer industry with the
    auto industry and stated "if GM had kept up with the
    technology like the computer industry has, we would
    all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued
    a press release stating: If GM had developed
    technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
    cars with the following characteristics:

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
    twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
    you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for
    no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of
    the road, close all of the car windows, shut it off,
    restart it, and re-open the windows before you could
    continue. For some reason you would simply accept

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
    turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
    restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the

    5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless
    you bought "CarNT" but then you would have to buy more

    6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
    sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
    easy to drive- but would only run on five percent of
    the roads.

    7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
    lights would all be replaced by a single "General
    Protection Fault" warning light.
    8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
    sized butt.

    9. The airbag system would ask "are you SURE?" before

    10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
    would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
    simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
    and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a
    deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM
    subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want
    them. Attempting to delete this option would
    immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by
    50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for
    investigation by the Justice Department.

    12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
    would have to learn to drive all over again because
    none of the controls would operate in the same manner
    as the old car.

    13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
    engine off.
    "Forget the flat stuff slap something on the spinny thing and lets go, we're burning daylight" Bart Leetch
    "If it ain't round you may be a knuckle dragger""Turners drag their nuckles too, they just do it at a higher RPM"Bart

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Punta Gorda, Florida
    That's perfect. I like that. Not far from the truth.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Well stated Bart. Someone took alot of time to think those points through, accurate as they are.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Villa Park, CA
    Just want to point out that this is not current. That statement from Bill Gates goes quite a ways back - in fact, the COMDEX trade show which used to bring 250,000 people to Las Vegas doesn't exist anymore - the last one was in 2003. I don't remember when Bill Gates made that presentation but it was quite a bit before 2003. The riposte was created shortly after he made the presentation.

    I attended COMDEX every year for many, many years. In the beginning the hotel rooms were cheap but the hotel people quickly caught on that people who can do mathematics don't gamble - towards the end we were paying over $300/night. But in reality, we didn't have time to gamble. The show opened at maybe 9am for the exhibitors and closed at maybe 5 or 6pm. Then, we'd have private parties for buyers in a suite at a hotel. And anyone who thinks those parties were fun needs to experience one some time - they were quite serious business "parties". By the time those were over, all you had time to do was fall into bed and start over the next day.

    I saw Las Vegas go from a relatively elegant town to a Disneyland-like environment where you wait in line for EVERYTHING, including going to the bathroom. Miserable town - I just refuse to go there now.

    How far the PC business has fallen!!

    Last edited by Mike Henderson; 10-03-2007 at 05:06 AM.
    Ancora imparo
    Go into the world and do well. But more importantly, go into the world and do good.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Central (upstate) NY
    I recently hard a story about hoof and mouth disease in Britain on the radio, but, driving at the time, initially heard "Britain's latest outbreak of foot in mouth disease" and was waiting to hear something about how one of Britain's gov't said something completely stupid.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Inside the Beltway
    The reference to NT would, I think, date this to sometime around the spring of '96...

    Boy, we're all getting on in years, aren't we...

    Remember the days when Macs actually existed? Now Apple just slaps its label on a wintel chip, and runs linux on it. Pretty soon, we'll be looking at solaris people the way others look at people who use planes and handsaws in their shops!


    (who still remembers how to go to SU, and can even remember how to do some things in vi
    Last edited by Bill Lantry; 10-04-2007 at 02:17 AM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    San Antonio, Texas
    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Lantry View Post
    (who still remembers how to go to SU, and can even remember how to do some things in vi
    Vi, huh? I'd gladly forgotten all about that. Only slightly better than DOS' text editor, but still YUCK!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    No, not all of SoCal is Los Angeles!
    As I am forced to still support an ancient home-brew app that uses VI as a text entering mechanism, I would have to object to any statement that implies it is a text editor or even resembles one
    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    - Arthur C. Clarke

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