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Thread: Oct. 12, sad day for our family

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Mountain Home, Arkansas

    Oct. 12, sad day for our family

    I wasn't going to post this. But when Oct. 12 rolls around each year some memories hang heavy on my heart and mind and I feel a need to share. This forum is well named and is a place for sharing.
    October 12, our son, Brent, age 27, was found dead in his apartment in Fayetteville, Arkansas. His friends had lost contact with him several days earlier and I had been on the phone constantly for three days trying to get police to look into his apparent disappearance. They wouldn't even talk to me for three days. When I finally convinced them to break into his apartment they found him dead. We observe Oct. 12 as his day of passing but, I'm sure, it was several days earlier. The autopsy never discovered the cause of death. Officially the cause of death is "undetermined". We will never know. A perfectly healthy 27 year old just died. Brent was an exceptionally talented writer. When he was editor of the campus newspaper at the University of Arkansas it won the award for the best college newspaper in the country. He wrote a column called "Expletive Deleted" that combined humor with some very insightful analysis of current news and events.
    To supplement income from his 9 to 5 job, he wrote music reviews and did promotional work for bands. His favorite band was Everclear. His favorite song was "The Fire Maple Song". We have a fire maple tree planted at the cemetery near his crypt. The Everclear band later dedicated an album to Brent's memory.
    One year later, on Oct. 12, some relatives visited from out of state to help us through the difficult first year 'anniversary'. My mind wasn't were it should have been. I was acting stupid trying to keep my thoughts happy and off the sadness of the day. We were showing our farm to the relatives. I had a burro that was broke to pack for hunting. I would walk and lead the animal. It was not broke to be ridden and I am not a rider. But, I tried to ride him, without saddle or reins. He did have a one-rope halter. I got bucked and landed hard on my left side. My kidney was fractured and massive internal bleeding began. I almost died. Five weeks and three surgeries later I went home for a long recovery.
    Several years after that, our late in life daughter, was recovering from serious knee surgery at the Shrine hospital. She was at high school, on crutches. Another girl, just goofing off, kicked her and broke the leg at the site of the surgery. That put her in the emergency room and back to Shrine hospital for more surgery. She is a dancer and that was a very dramatic event for her and the family.
    Oh, BTW, that happened on October 12.
    We don't hole up in a cave on Oct. 12 but we do remember our son. We are placing a wreath of fall leaves on the crypt today and, of course, will be thinking about him.
    When you younger guys post pictures, or mention, your children, I often make comments like "treasure them". I mean it, my comments come from a place I pray none of you ever have to be.
    Tonight, I will be with friends. I'll be cooking fish for my Shrine Club fish fry. But, we will be thinking about Brent, our other children and our grandchildren. There is nothing more important in life than family.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Brent tree 5 small.jpg  
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Constantine, MI

    There is little one can say in response to such a posting as this except that to let you know that I've placed a reminder in my calendar for this date and from this point on I'll be remembering you and your family in my prayers each year.
    Host of the 2017 Family Woodworking Gathering - Sunken Wood

    “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will.” - Chuck Palahniuk

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    DSM, IA
    Frank, I hope telling us about this can ease your pain on this day. I'm truly sorry for the loss of your son. We all are thinking of you and your family.
    A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. -Henry David Thoreau
    My Website

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Rio Rancho, NM
    Frank, there is really not much to say--as I wipe away tears from reading your post. No parent should ever have to bury a child. Our hearts are with you and your family.

    Nancy (70 days)
    Nancy Laird
    FWW Registered Voter and Voting Member
    Woodworker, turner, laser engraver; RETIRED!!

    A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to his country for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' If you love your country, thank a vet.

  5. #5
    My thoughts are with you and your family Frank.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Lakeport NY and/or the nearest hotel
    words simply fail right now, Know that we're here for you, not that we can do much, except care for our friend.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    keep your head up frank!
    [SIZE="1"] associated with several importers and manufacturers.[/SIZE]

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Between Aledo and Fort Worth, TX
    There's nothing I can add to what has been said. You have a great attitude with all that has happened on this day. Be safe today, don't let your thoughts wonder tonight while cooking. But most of all, remember the life of your son and celebrate it the way he would want you to. Jim.
    Coolmeadow Setters...
    Exclusively Irish!
    Home of Irish Setter Rescue of North Texas
    When Irish Eyes are smiling, they're usually up to something!!
    At a minimum, I'm Pentatoxic...but most likely, I'm a Pentaholic. There seems to be no known cure. Pentatonix, winners of The Sing Off, season 3

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    North West Indiana
    Frank, may your day be the best it can under the circumstances, above all, be safe and enjoy those around you.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Frank, I am so sorry about your loss, but I am Thankful you shared your story with us. Your story reminds me about my son who will be 27 soon and how I would miss him if he and his younger brother were to go before me.....I've mentioned it on this forum that we had a daughter we lost. She would have been 22 and was born between my two sons...there isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of her and when July 3rd comes it is always hard (the day she passed) it has been said that no one should ever have to bury their child....even though our daughter was very young, her loss always is a raw I know you full well know.

    Try to always remember to keep the memories close to your heart and then they are never completely gone. I'll be thinking of you brother, as well as all of your family on this painful day.

    Thanks for sharing your story and bless you all.
    A very wise man once said.......
    "I'll take my chances with Misseurs Smith and Wesson. "

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