THE NEXT "SURVIVOR" SERIES :

Bart Leetch

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Location
Clinton, Washington on Whidbey Island
THE NEXT "SURVIVOR" SERIES :

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their
friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons. Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish
shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed.

The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse. They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00 . They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better. They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, 'You're not the boss of me'. The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.
 
Boy I have heard about these elusive super-people but sure have yet to marry one, and I've got twice as many chances as most people.:D

I may sound mean, but the truth of the matter is there is a huge difference between what has to get done, and what most people want to do. In todays modern society we get those two terms mixed up. Half of those things on that list are ELECTED tasks, that is stuff that does not have to be done. Tell your kids they can have ONE activity not two. Tell a social function you are just too busy to make cookies. Stuff like that. To often in this world we are so afraid of saying no and taking time out for ourselves that we end up being overwhelmed and yet chock it up as "being too busy". Horse puckey, it is our own darn fault.

Now the women of 50 years ago, those are the ones I feel for. My Grandmother grew up in a family of 7 girls, no boys and a dad that was killed by pneuemonia when she was 2 months old. No welfare back then, just a mother that washed clothes and did the best she could on the farm to feed her girls in the middle of the depression. They hunted rabbit and cooked over a wood burning cookstove. They cut the wood and grew their own vegetables to eat. Same with raising chickens, pigs and cows. Now last week my wife would not bring in a 12 pack of coke because it was "too heavy". My 83 year old grandmother who lives across the street threw out her back hefting a 50 pound bag of potatoes down the celler steps on the way to the potato bin. Yes that was last week as well.

Yeah we have come a long ways, but if you want a real survivor series, just try following in my Grandmother's shoes. No person today, male or female would be able to survive what the greatest generation did.
 
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