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Thread: Tallying up the Carnage...

  1. #1

    Tallying up the Carnage...

    Its been 5 hours and so far this Holy Terror on two feet has:

    Crumpled a black and white photo of her mother's Great Grandparents
    Broke a picture frame
    Cut her finger on a dryer vent I was trying to install
    Was eating the dogs dog food (I think she was telling me she was hungry)
    Left me 3 soaking wet diapers and one really stinky one

    Man this babysitting thing is not as easy as it sounds. I mean just look at her. Sure she looks all cute and innocent feeding her baby a bottle in the picture, but behind that 23 pounds, 31 inch high frame their lies a young woman who is scheming, pondering, planning her next reign of holy terror. Man I cannot believe I actually wanted her to learn how to walk. Now all I do is chase her around and try to prevent one catastrophe after another. The only reason I can type this now is because she is strapped into her booster seat eating lunch.

    Well 4 more hours till Mom gets home. How much damage do you think she can inflict in that amount of time? Maybe not much, I found some 3 pound ankle weights for exercising that should keep her from climbing on too much stuff.

    I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Tokyo Japan
    Posts
    15,807
    I hear you Travis, but you know what my Mom would say..........??

    "Why do MEN make everything to do with KIDS look so darn hard to do........ "

    Cheers!
    The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
    William Arthur Ward

  3. #3
    I agree...

    Add one more to the list. the little terror just pulled out all the flowers out of her cottages window boxes....For some reason they don'tlooklike they did when Mommy arranged them.

    I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Tampa
    Posts
    281
    Quote Originally Posted by Travis Johnson View Post
    but behind that 23 pounds, 31 inch high frame their lies a young woman who is scheming, pondering, planning her next reign of holy terror.

    It's not just little girls.

    My 3 year old son, Julio (the one in my wifes arms in my pic), has been blaming his older brother for everything. If he breaks something he blames his brother with a confident, "Diego did it." No matter what it is or how obvious it is that Diego did not do it he still lies and blames Diego.

    One day at dinner my wife and I tried to explain to him to stop lying and blaming Diego so we just asked him, "who did it?" It was just an arbritrary question becouse nothing had happend but his automatic responce to "who did it?" was always . "Diego did it."

    So he responded just as expected with "Diego did it." I tried to make it clear to him by sounding very authorative that Diego did not do it to which he answered with a nod and a even more authorative sounding, "Diego did it."

    Then my wife tried the repeat-after-me-approach, she said, "Julio look at me, say I did it."

    She expected him to repeat the phrase 'I did it' instead he immedietly turned and looked at me and with a pointing thumb towards his mother he said, "moma did it."

    All efforts at attitude adjustment broke down at that point.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Tokiwadai, Japan
    Posts
    2,882
    Who was it that just said...."Well my wife and I decided that we want to be foster parents."??


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Mountain Home, Arkansas
    Posts
    11,828
    You wait 18 months for a child to begin speaking and another 18 years for them to shut up.
    It's great. Enjoy every moment. That 18 years will be here tomorrow.
    "Folks is funny critters."

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    DSM, IA
    Posts
    5,719
    Speaking of talking kids....don't make the mistake I did...Thought it would be funny for my daughter to know how to get me a beer from the fridge or take them to other's in the house...it was cute to most until last week in the grocery store when she started screeming and pointing "BEER DADDY, BEER FOR DADDY?" when we walked down the beer isle, kinda embarrassing...she'll be 2.5 next week.
    A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. -Henry David Thoreau
    My Website


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    North West Indiana
    Posts
    6,098
    Julio, our oldest daughter went through a similar phase. What we did was start asking questions about, "who did," and then made it about something good, like, "who did the beds" and when they said the other, heaps of praise or some such thing happened, taught her to be a better listener! (at least more discriminate)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas
    Posts
    765
    LMAO! That's not so bad really, Travis. Over the holidays I got the priviledge of watching my 15 month old twin grandsons... for 30 min. It was the most exhausting 30 min of my life (and we raised 5 of our own). Into absolutely everything... and going in opposite directions in the process.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Lakeport NY and/or the nearest hotel
    Posts
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    When I was a youngster... I'd guess somewhere around 6 or 8 give or take a couple of years, my Dad was relaxing on the couch watching Hockey Night in Canada with a Molsen Canadien. Well, inquisitive type that I was, I asked if I could have a sip of his beer. He said sure, and proceeded as I took a teeny little sip, made a face and handed it back. After playing with my Lego's awhile longer, I came back and asked 'Dad, can I have a sip of our beer?'. He chuckled and I repeated the sip and the face again. Not long after that, He takes a swig of beer. "Dad! You're Drinking My Beer!" was my classic line. 35 years later and I'm still living that one down.
    -Ned

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