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Thread: Lawyers, Doctors and Woodworkers

  1. #1

    Lawyers, Doctors and Woodworkers

    (This is a clean and appropriate woodworking joke)

    A Lawyer, Doctor and woodworker all happened to win the lottery here in Maine. Since the winnings would mean the trio would have to split the 300 million dollar prize, the local television station decided to interview the winners and ask them some questions.

    So the pretty anchorwoman asked the Lawyer what he intended to do with his winnings...

    "Well I think I will start a practice that helps inner city kids get fair and appropriate hearings, sentences and trials. I'll do all this for free of course as a way to pay back society for granting me this windfall.

    "That is very noble of you," she exclaimed and then asked the Doctor what he planned to do with his winnings?

    "Well I plan to head to Costa Rica and set up a practice where I can help treat the children and pheasants of that country. They need urgent medical care and I would do that, using the money to save lives."

    "Wow that too is very noble of you." She then turned to the woodworker who owned a small shop, made toys, presents cutting boards and wood turnings. Again she asked the same question.

    The woodworker took a long time to answer, even looked around his small shop and then asked her a question. "100 million dollars huh?" When the woman nodded he just scratched his chin. "I guess I'll just keep working until the money runs out."
    I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
    That's good Travis, but I would replace 'woodworker' with 'farmer'.
    Cheers, Frank

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    New Springfield OH
    I don't get it? why is he going to Costa Rica and treat children and birds?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    No, not all of SoCal is Los Angeles!
    Pheasants, peasants what's the difference. Good and appropriate joke. thanks for the laughs.
    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    - Arthur C. Clarke

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Inside the Beltway
    Good one!

    Actually, I first heard that joke in Texas, back in the 80s, about cattle ranchers. Cattle rancher wins the lottery. They ask him what he's gonna do with the money. "I'm just gonna ranch and ranch and ranch, till I've used all that money up!"

    Another one: guy's running a ranch in the hill country. As always, way too many cows for the acreage. He goes down to the bottom of one of his hills, and lays (this is Texas, remember) down on the ground, and looks up the line of the hill towards the sky. If he sees even a single blade of grass, he goes out and buys three more cows...



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    New Springfield OH
    Quote Originally Posted by glenn bradley View Post
    Pheasants, peasants what's the difference. Good and appropriate joke. thanks for the laughs.
    Well would you really want peasant under glass?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Fort Washington, PA
    Good one... what makes it humorous is the tinge of truth in it. OK... yet another good joke I have to try and remember.
    Build it Break it Fix it ...repeat

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