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Thread: Teaching Skinny Dippers a Lesson

  1. #1
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    Talking Teaching Skinny Dippers a Lesson

    I "borrowed" this from another forum...compliments of Ted Kitch...

    An elderly man in Texas had owned a large farm for several years. He had a beautiful large pond at the back of the property next to the road, and he'd fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and he'd planted some nice flowers and fruit trees next to the pond.

    One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look it over, as he hadn't been down there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

    As he neared the pond, he heard splashing and female voices shouting and laughing with glee.. As he came closer he saw that 5 young women had parked their car at the side of the road, climbed the fence and were skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went hurriedly splashing to the deep end.

    One of the women shouted to him, "We're naked and we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned and yelled back, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond."

    Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."
    Got Wood?

  2. #2
    Scott that is pretty funny, but don't be surprised if you are asked to change the wording a bit. Members on here are kind of thinned skinned when it comes to being offended. I would change everything to just "swimmers" and you should be okay.
    I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"

  3. #3
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    Scott, good one. Hope if ever I am in the same situation I am carrying a bucket to my pond!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Travis Johnson View Post
    Scott that is pretty funny, but don't be surprised if you are asked to change the wording a bit. Members on here are kind of thinned skinned when it comes to being offended. I would change everything to just "swimmers" and you should be okay.
    No Travis, we just enforce the rules when people won't abide by them.

    Instead of snide remarks why don't you work to improve the forum? It is member run. You can move to change it. You could run for a moderator position.
    Last edited by Jeff Horton; 05-01-2008 at 01:08 PM.
    God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
    the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
    and the eyesight to tell the difference.


    Kudzu Craft Lightweight Skin on frame Kayaks.
    Custom built boats and Kits

  5. #5
    Nope, no snide remarks from me, just saying how it is. Granted I could have sent him a PM instead of posting this in a reply, but sooner or later someone would have jumped on and said "I am offended by that because...." I just came right out and made a suggestion pretty quick like. No, no snide comment at all, you just took it as such.

    As for improving the forum, I think I do that. When the forum gets a little stagnant, which is not meant to sound bad, its just all forums have ebb and flows where posts stay unreplied to for periods of time, I try to jump in with something a little different that gets people thinking.

    My recent lineshaft question today was meant to do that. To get people thinking about things in a different way. I think this is a role moderators should play, so while I am not technically one, I do try to reply to posts (especially posts with no replies) and to stimulate thought and avoid stagnation. I have read many times posts that say "I typically like your posts..." which to me is a huge compliment. That means people see I made a post and click on it because they feel it has merit and interest. I feel that is contributing to the forum in a very positive way.

    You are absolutely right that I refuse to be a moderator. I did so on Wood Online, right along side of Ralph Jones (a new member on here) and will never do that again. One of the reasons is because I dislike whiners. I have very thick skin which is one of the reasons my posts (like the Amish coming to my town) can start out on a bad note and turn to good. I just don't get offended.

    The COC rules of this website is great, and for the most part keeps things very civil which again is great. Still I think the past history and overall way this forum is run, tends to allow people to be overly offended. I tried so hard for the first 2 years on this forum to be civil, and yet it clearly became evident that no matter how hard I tried, someone would get offended at the most trivial of things. Now I pretty much have given up. For the mods that have to deal with this trivial stuff, I truly feel for them, but after 2 years of being a Mod on Wood Online, I am going to do everything I can to avoid overly-offended people. I just don't have it in me to deal with whiners.

    As my Grandfather used to say: Life ain't fair so suck it up.

    As for this post, or any of my posts, Vaughn can tell you that I have given him and any other Mod permission to edit and delete my posts as they deem fit. You don't even have to ask me. I am truly okay with it. I do think out of fairness to Scott, this reply and Jeff's reply should be moved to the Member's Only Forum.

    But contribute positively to this forum...yeah I think I do that. I am certainly not perfect, but we all contribute in positive ways...even if we are not Mods.
    I have no intention of traveling from birth to the grave in a manicured and well preserved body; but rather I will skid in sideways, totally beat up, completely worn out, utterly exhausted and jump off my tractor and loudly yell, "Wow, this is what it took to feed a nation!"

  6. #6
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    Scott, I've heard that joke before and find it funny

    Them older gents have learned a thing or two in their long lives, something that the younger folks should think about, before they claim to know everything

    Do they have alligators in Texas
    The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
    William Arthur Ward

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuart Ablett View Post

    Them older gents have learned a thing or two in their long lives, something that the younger folks should think about, before they claim to know everything
    Reminds me of a joke as long as we are telling them......


    Two bulls are up on a hill overlooking a herd of cows, when the young bull says to the old one "Hey why don't we run down there and get cozy with a cow?"

    Old bull looks at the young bull and says "Why don't we walk on down there and get cozy with them all?"
    A very wise man once said.......
    "I'll take my chances with Misseurs Smith and Wesson. "

  8. #8
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    Reminds me of a joke too...

    My Great Grandfather was a hero of the French/Indian war, and in 1757..................

    I'm 35....you do the math.


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greg Cook View Post
    Reminds me of a joke too...

    My Great Grandfather was a hero of the French/Indian war, and in 1757..................

    I'm 35....you do the math.

    I must be dense Greg....I don't get it?

    I know you are older than 35.
    A very wise man once said.......
    "I'll take my chances with Misseurs Smith and Wesson. "

  10. #10
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    Steve...

    You have a PM...


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