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Ex-wife

Bart Leetch

Bart Leetch

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Clinton, Washington on Whidbey Island
One evening, after the honeymoon, Dick was working on his Harley in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we're married, Maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage.You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment & woodworking tools;they take up so much of your time. And that gun collection and fishing gear, they just take up so much space. And you know the boat is such an ongoing expense; and you hardly use it. I also think you should lose all those stupid model airplanes and your home brewing equipment..."And what's the use of that vintage hot rod?


Dick got a horrified look on his face.

She noticed and said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

He replied, "You were starting to sound like my ex-wife."

"Ex-wife!?" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Dick replied, "I wasn't..."
 
There was a Texas rancher that married a beautiful young lady.
As they were riding away on their honeymoon, the rancher's horse tripped and fell, throwing the rancher.
He got up, dusted off his wedding coat and remounted... as he mounted he said "That's one"
A short ways down the road the horse stumbled again, threw the rancher again. He stood up, dusted off his wedding coat, remounted and said "that's two"
Shortly the horse stumbled again, threw the rancher again... he stood up, dusted off his wedding coat, and said "that's three", pulled out his pistol and shot the horse.

Naturally the young bride was aghast and berated the rancher for his short temper. He listened quietly until she had finished, then said "that's one"

They were married for 50 years with never a cross word between them.
 
Chuck Ellis said:
There was a Texas rancher that married a beautiful young lady.
As they were riding away on their honeymoon, the rancher's horse tripped and fell, throwing the rancher.
He got up, dusted off his wedding coat and remounted... as he mounted he said "That's one"
A short ways down the road the horse stumbled again, threw the rancher again. He stood up, dusted off his wedding coat, remounted and said "that's two"
Shortly the horse stumbled again, threw the rancher again... he stood up, dusted off his wedding coat, and said "that's three", pulled out his pistol and shot the horse.

Naturally the young bride was aghast and berated the rancher for his short temper. He listened quietly until she had finished, then said "that's one"

They were married for 50 years with never a cross word between them.
Click to expand...

This reminds me of something that happened at my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary.

My grandfather was a cantankerous old man. He was gruff and grumpy but well loved.

At the anniversary party all the granddaughters were sitting on the floor at Grandma's knee. My cousin Patty who was the oldest of the granddaughters asked Grandma, "How in the world have you been able to put up with Granddaddy all these years when he is so grumpy?"

Grandma said, "Well, when Ralph (my grandfather) and I were dating he did a lot of things that made me mad. But I decided to marry him anyway knowing that he did those things. So I made a list of 25 things that he did that I already knew about and promised to myself that I wouldn't get mad if he did those things after we were married. Somehow I managed to lose the list and when Ralph made me mad I would just say to myself, 'You better be glad that was on my list'."

I think that is how we all should approach marriage and both partners should work toward shortening their lists.
 
In defense of women, I wonder what our female members think about these jokes and what would be the reaction of male members if female members started to post similar existing jokes from the other side...
 
I stopped riding when I got married 37 years ago. I started back to riding after my 3rd son graduated high school. I told Shelly I was getting a new bike , she says after I get my 2 diamond ring. I said deal !
So I'm looking for her Christmas ring now. 😉
 
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