death watch

Frank Fusco

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Location
Mountain Home, Arkansas
Crude way to say it, but that is what is happening. A very close friend's wife has been failing for several weeks. Yesterday she was moved from the hospital to the local hospice and all support removed. This includes fluids and nutrition. I have mixed feelings about that and didn't do with my mother. But my friend took the doctors advice and removed all. She is in mid-80s. I have known them almost 30 years and we are close friends. I'll go over after church and sit a while. He likes the company but I just cannot stay all day.
Life happens and the end of life is part of reality. Still hard.
She was a tall, elegant woman who always had a smile and kind word. Seeing her shriveled and helpless in bed is an undignified end. For my friend's sake, and hers, I hope the inevitable comes soon.
 
i can understand and agree with some of your thoughts frank,, but if you didnt go there for what time you can, you would feel worse.. thoughts and best wishes head your way frank..
 
We will keep you and him lifted up in prayer here, Frank. You might have to be his life support for a while. Just have an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on.
 
Frank, my Grandfather chose to die at home. It is nothing like the movies. It is painful to watch and very undignified. To this day, I remember the people that came to the house more to be with Grandma than with Grandpa at that time. Any time you spent was treasured I am sure, no words need be spoken, true friendship was shown by you. I will say a prayer for you and your friend and the elegant lady. May she always be the tall elegant lady in your memories, and not who you saw the other day.
 
Thanks all. Marion was still with us yesterday. But, as said, undignified. Bill just sits with her all day. Very stressful, I'm sure. The feeling of helplessness must be overwhelming. A couple of us from the Shrine club will be going up to see them in a couple hours.
 
Frank, your presence and caring is what matters. Try to bear in mind that at life's end, stopping fluids and nutrition is different than when well. Often, the decrease in fluids is helpful - reduces congestion and swelling. The hospice should be looking after her comfort and providing medication to reduce suffering. And that's what you are doing by being there also.
 
Marion passed last night about 8 p.m. I talked to Bill this morning, he seems as OK as possible under the circumstances. He knew it was coming. I have seen this kind of situation many-many times in the 32 years I have lived in this retirement community. But, it is never easy. One year we lost 25 members of my Masonic Lodge. In recent years we lost three consecutive presidents of my Shrine club while they were in office. And so it goes.
Thanks all for your kind words.
 
Frank,

Please accept my condolences. This is not a fun time I know, but I'm sure that your support has made it much more bearable for your friend.

John
 
Bad week. Two more friends, guys same age as me died.
One was in bad health for a long time, never took care of himself. His death didn't come as a big surprise. Still sad.
Other was a very 'young' 70, vigorous and active. Retired pharmacist who loved working and hunting on his big farm. Fell from a ladder in his barn. Serious head and neck injuries. Was in a coma for two days before dying. Y'all might recall me discussing my view of guys my age climbing ladders. Very tough lesson why I am staying away from them as much as possible.
The wake last night was a tough experience.
I'm going to be more thankful than ever tomorrow when the family gathers at my sons house for Thanksgiving. Never know when it will be the last.
 
Sorry to hear the additional sad news, Frank. I know firsthand that it's not only the old guys who can do the falling thing. We all need to be careful, because life-changing things can happen in a flash.
 
Sorry to hear the additional sad news, Frank. I know firsthand that it's not only the old guys who can do the falling thing. We all need to be careful, because life-changing things can happen in a flash.

I heard that!!! and feel it every cold front that rolls in. sorry for the loss frank. just be safe your self..you keeptalkin about folks in there 70,s being young just how ancient are you???? :D
 
I'm a young 70 and feeling good.
Sorry to be so morbid lately. FW has become a sharing place. Living in this retirement community gets to me occasionally. Not the first time I have gone through the death watch blues. Only thing different lately is that I am now in that age group that gets into the obits regularly.
I'll get over it.
 
Fell from a ladder in his barn.

I didn't realize this happened so much. I had a neighbor back in Oklahoma that this happened to. Not sure how old he was, but I know he was at least in his 60's.

I Googled ladder injuries for over 65 age bracket and found this from the Government.

"There was a higher population-based rate of injury among persons 65 and older than among persons 20-64. Persons 65 and older accounted for half of all ladder deaths reported. In 2002, this population accounted for 16% of emergency room-treated injuries involving ladders, but were 39% of
those hospitalized for ladder-related injuries."


Please be safe, especially as we enter the holiday season where ladder use might be higher for hanging those light.

Frank - Deepest sympathies for those families.

Regards,

Randy
 
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