Cathie, LOML

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Hi everybody. Just a note from someone that is feeling a little blue right now and don’t have a lot of friends over on this side of the ocean yet and no family here. So lucky you, you are going to be my family and friend for a while…..

I’ve been married to the LOML (Cathie) for almost 14 years and in October of 2007 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After the first MRI’s and CAT scans came in they found the cancer had already spread to the vertebra and pelvis. She had been having problems with her right eye as well but this was before the diagnosis, but part of the cancer. There was a tumor behind the eye, around the optic nerve and caused an awful lot of pain for her. It all made sense after we knew what she was fighting. She started an aggressive chemo and one of the good things was the tumor behind the eye went away but not before she lost the sight in it. Cathie has fought a hard battle in the last 19 months but we always knew what the out come was going to be. Cathie went through six months of treatments and went back to work part time (3 days a week) just to keep busy. Cathie was feeling pretty good as in the beginning the cancer markers in her blood was 847 and then went down to about 45, that’s almost high normal. Then about 5 or 6 months ago the markers started up again and back into chemo Cathie went, still working the 3 days a week. Cathie would go in for chemo on Friday so she could get over the initial sickness over the weekend plus Monday and then go to work for the rest of the week then start it over on Friday. She did this 3 weeks then have a week off and then back into it. After no change in the markers through two different kinds of chemo Cathie just couldn’t go to work anymore. She loves the company and the people she works with but just couldn’t do it anymore. This last Wednesday, we had an early call from here oncologist in Honolulu. We pretty much knew he wasn’t going to have any good news. He then told us the disease had gone into the liver now and is a very aggressive and at best, maybe 6 months, most likely less. Cathie had already told me the Saturday before last, when I had come home from the remodel job that she was tired and didn’t want to go on. She told me also that she told god to come and take her. That’s when my world was shaken to the core. Yes, I knew it was going to come but when you actually have to face it, a Mack truck couldn’t do more damage. We know have the support of Hospice and so far they are a great bunch of people. Today they made a special trip to the house to show me how to give Cathie the Morphine to help with the pain and to make suggestions to other kinds of help available. This is the one time I’m glad I’m not working an official job. I find helping Cathie with her daily needs, some of the things not done by Hospice, the best way to show my love for her. I just can’t imagine turning that over to strangers. I just hope I have the strength physically and emotionally to keep it together to take proper care of her to the end. Like a lot of couples we’ve had our ups and downs but Cathie was my best friend and will miss her terribly. To be frank I’m scarred to death about being by myself after all these years. Self pity, probably, but I’m not looking for pity or sympathy. I just needed someone to talk to and really, you are my family right now.

Sorry to post such a somber message. I just wanted to tell you about Cathie. She is a wonderful woman and wife and will be truly missed by me.
 
Dear Royall,

I have only been here a short time, please accept the following with my sincerest regards.

Your family's peace and well being will certainly be in my prayers. I hope that Cathie finds strength in calling out to God and that you also find the strength you need.

Your sharing with us will hopefully give you some support. Please be ready to accept the support in the physical world that those around you will offer. People will be there to help you and Cathie to face what comes.

Thank you for trusting us and sharing with us now and please be ready to share more when you are ready for there is certainly a reason you reached out. May we be worthy of your trust and friendship at this time and in the future.

Peace be with you.

With kindest thoughts.
 
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I'm very sorry to see the news, Royall. Dan pretty much summed my thoughts. Sounds like you're both been taking a well-reasoned approach, but it's still a tough journey. Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help, even if it's just an outlet to unload.
 
Royal,

Spend every possible moment with her and never pass up the chance to tell her you love her.

You'll see each other again soon enough.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
Royall,

You and Cathie will be in our thoughts and prayers. Reading a post like this helps other people to appreciate what or who they might be taking for granted and I thank you for sharing it with us.
 
Royall,

I'm very sorry to hear about your wife's health issues. You've got a lot of friends here who will help out in any way that we can. I'll keep both of you in my prayers.

Peter
 
There's not much to say that hasn't been said Royall. We do care about you and Cathie. We are ready to give support in any way possible. Keep us updated. Both of you will be in my prayers.
 
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