why the poor are poor

allen levine

Member
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12,340
Location
new york city burbs
this is a small rant.
I recently had a very minor flood of sewerage in my stores basement.(insurance deductable too high, not worth getting invovled with othelandlord and having to start a problem)The building next door had a main sewer line break and his basement filled with close to 8 inches of sewerage, and it seeped through the foundation.
It all dried up quick enough, but alot of merchandise, nothing of value, just old junk got waterlogged and alot of old stuff got that sewer smell and had to be tossed.
My staff refused to clean any of it, not that I asked them too.
I hired a homeless guy(he lives in shelter, comes around all the time to me and other store owners for any type of work to make money to eat) that Ive hired on various occasions to do snow removal, clean some hallways upstairs etc.....nothing challenging, and I always pay him well, he always comes back looking for more.
I offered him 100 dollar to spend 1.5 hours downstairs with a shovel, a broom, contractor thick bags, and hooked up a hose and asked him to sweep it all up, throw out everything, and then wash it all down with the hose and sweep the water into the drain.
He never showed up.
I offered the same job to another down on his luck fellow, and asked him what he wanted to do it, he said 50, I said, no, you deserve 100 to do it, what I offered the other guy, and he jumped and said, ok, Ill see you friday.
He didnt show up yesterday, and didnt show up today.
I put on a mask, my safety glasses, took, a shovel, spent an hour down there, and after I sprayed down the floor, I was given some cherry scented deodorizer for the cement, and washed and swept it all down the drain.
2 guys that dont have 2 nickels to rub together, offered 50 dollars an hour for sweeping, neither showed up.
there are reasons people who are broke remain broke. It just ticks me off since I know theyll be here in 2 weeks from now asking me if I have anything for them so they can eat.
 
And the really sad thing, is they both probably got a 10 dollar bill the day before and drank it all that night. I wish there was a way to break the cycle for the homeless that are down and out, but short of God grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking some sense into them, I don't have a clue what it would take. Many of them don't want to be anywhere else. Or they just can't handle the pressures of normal life, or simply don't want to anymore. Jim.
 
That was a good solid offer Allen, it just didn't land on the right guys. Too bad that an opportunity for a little cash and some self respect got derailed. Given their situation, we cannot know what might have caused them to not show up. I'd like to think it was something positive instead of just their acceptance of their lot. I'll hope anyway.
 
my guess is laziness, but I wont go into it, it will become a political post.
I have one guy that comes around every saturday and offers to wash my truck, he does it in the lot where I park(the owner of the lot has no problem since the guy helps him out also), he does an incredible job, scrubs the wheels clean, the inside is always like new car clean. He is an ex-addict, but noone would give him a job, so he hustles and cleans cars, mans the lot at night for the owner, goes on odd jobs with some of the truckers that park there when they need man power, helps others with minor construction jobs, since they all park their trucks at night in the lot, hes made quite a few connections and is finding work constantly. but he got into a fight one night, so hes back in his home away from home for a few months.

Imnot a humanitarian, I dont offer these guys jobs out of the goodness of my heart, I offer them work because they seek it and almost beg. No work, they dont eat. Its a very simple formula for them. Im located in one of the highest crime /low income areas in NY, a little good will might get me somewhere when I cash in all my chips in my final game.
 
...Many of them don't want to be anywhere else...

I know this to be a fact.

About 20 years ago one of my best friends became homeless, the result of his drug and alcohol addictions more than anything else. At one time he had been like a brother to me, but by then we hardly knew each other anymore. He was married and had a kid, but he left for some reason...I don't know the details. Long story short, Mike spent nearly all of those years living on the streets, despite many, many attempts by his family and friends to help him out, get him back on his feet, and get his life turned around. We'd all lost touch with him several years ago, until 2008 when a lady in Austin TX tracked several of us down via the web. She'd met Mike at a bus stop bench. (She was handing out bottled water to the homeless as part of her church ministries.) He was living at the bus stop with his shopping cart. She befriended him, fed and clothed him, prayed with him, and arranged to get him into a rehab program. He refused the rehab offer, saying it never works. At one point, she found him passed out from dehydration in a K-Mart parking lot, with ants crawling all over his body. She called an ambulance and he was taken to the hospital. He was there for a couple of weeks getting his strength back up enough to walk (with a walker), and again he refused offers for a rehab program. He flat out told another mutual friend that all he wanted was a cigarette and a drink. When he was released from the hospital, he asked to be dropped of at his bus stop bench, and he was soon back into his normal routine of begging for change and spending it on booze or drugs. The nice lady moved away from Austin, but her fellow church members continued to stay in touch with Mike, at least whenever they could find him.

By last fall Mike's health had taken another bad turn, and he was admitted into a convalescent home in Lampasas TX. He was diagnosed with tongue cancer. Several of his old friends, as well as his sister and mother, tried to talk Mike into coming back home to Albuquerque for treatment. Again, he refused. He died January 1, 2010. He was one of the best drummers I ever had the privilege to play with. His love for the booze and drugs was stronger than his love for family and friends.
 
I know this to be a fact.

About 20 years ago one of my best friends became homeless, the result of his drug and alcohol addictions more than anything else. At one time he had been like a brother to me, but by then we hardly knew each other anymore. He was married and had a kid, but he left for some reason...I don't know the details. Long story short, Mike spent nearly all of those years living on the streets, despite many, many attempts by his family and friends to help him out, get him back on his feet, and get his life turned around. We'd all lost touch with him several years ago, until 2008 when a lady in Austin TX tracked several of us down via the web. She'd met Mike at a bus stop bench. (She was handing out bottled water to the homeless as part of her church ministries.) He was living at the bus stop with his shopping cart. She befriended him, fed and clothed him, prayed with him, and arranged to get him into a rehab program. He refused the rehab offer, saying it never works. At one point, she found him passed out from dehydration in a K-Mart parking lot, with ants crawling all over his body. She called an ambulance and he was taken to the hospital. He was there for a couple of weeks getting his strength back up enough to walk (with a walker), and again he refused offers for a rehab program. He flat out told another mutual friend that all he wanted was a cigarette and a drink. When he was released from the hospital, he asked to be dropped of at his bus stop bench, and he was soon back into his normal routine of begging for change and spending it on booze or drugs. The nice lady moved away from Austin, but her fellow church members continued to stay in touch with Mike, at least whenever they could find him.

By last fall Mike's health had taken another bad turn, and he was admitted into a convalescent home in Lampasas TX. He was diagnosed with tongue cancer. Several of his old friends, as well as his sister and mother, tried to talk Mike into coming back home to Albuquerque for treatment. Again, he refused. He died January 1, 2010. He was one of the best drummers I ever had the privilege to play with. His love for the booze and drugs was stronger than his love for family and friends.

Sad story Vaughn, heres one with a happy ending.

My older brother was an alchaholic, his wife stayed with him untl the kids finished high school and moved out then she devorced him. He lost his house couldn't keep a job ended up in the streets. my mother, sisters and younger brother all tried to hel him but didn't know how. They provided housing, food and unfortunatly money which he spent on booze. I knew a priest who was also a counciler at Betty Ford in palm springs and he told me that Bub couldn't be helped until he wanted help and that providing the kind of help that my family was providing was only enableing him. He said that he needed to hit rock bottom before he had any hope of wanting help. I tried to convince my family of this but to no avail. Finaly while living on the streets he had to be hospitalised for his health, couldn't get any booze in the hospital, had a heart attach while in for treatment. After he got out he joined AA. That was twenty years ago. He is still sober to this day.
 
I don't want to sound heartless, but in spite of Vaughn's sad story about his friend and many other stories I have heard, I have little empathy for the homeless... there are ennumerable agencies and organizations out there to help, but most choose to live on the streets... whether it's emotional, drugs, alcohol or what ever, there's help available but most refuse it.
 
the second guy was no alcoholic or drug abuser.
He was working years ago, after leeching off his family one of his relatives tossed him but kept his 2 kids, who later on the mother took back, another story.
Noone wanted to help him because he just figured he needed little to live and could get enough to feed himself.
He didnt realize the expense of living by himself, and didnt want to work more than a few hours a week. so he didnt. And thats why hes in the twist hes in.
 
My house is unfinished, my vehicles paid for, horses in one pasture, cows and calves in others. My pond is not completed, the spoil (dirt dug out of the pond) is piled along the West bank, my dogs bark, my rooster crows, my cats hunt in the fields and sometimes on the neighbors property. Guess what, yep, a couple of neighbors down the road think I am poor. Poor from poor choices. Poor from wasting money. Poor from wasting time. Poor from whatever they deem the reason as they pass my small farm on the way to and from their fancy mortages in their fancy unpaid for vehicles, racing to and fro trying to make ends meet and pay their bills. Yep, I work at a different pace than most of the world. I use a team of horses for many jobs. I choose to be home to feed my woodstove to heat my home, I choose to spend time with my family shooting guns in our back pasture into that "spoil" pile. Yep, I choose to eat my own home raised beef, pork and chicken. I know for a fact that some people in my neighborhood regard me with little respect. Phooey on them. They seem to have no problem knocking on my door for handouts for their pet projects. Yep, my house isn't the type to get the tax man in a lather for measuring and figuring, but you know what, it is what is important to me, a HOME. A home is different than a house. We host many outings here for many things, hey any reason to get together and eat and shoot the bull!!!! A buddy I don't see often enough drives intercity delivery truck told me a few years back, the fancy houses in the big city had a subdivision of multi million dollar homes, BMW's parked in the drives. Well he was told and didn't believe until one day he parked his truck and walked around the houses, many, he said more than 2 out of 10, had no furniture or plastic lawn furniture inside them!!! Yep, all show, no go. So, my lifestyle might not be your lifestyle. I am not abusing my kids or wife or animals. But many would love to see me change. Thankfully, most that have taken the time to know me, see past the "picture" and know I am somewhat honest and do stand by my friends.
I say this not to be mean or demean anything anyone has typed on the subject. I have family that has made very poor choices. Drugs, alcohol, jail/prison, repeated trips to prison. If they stay drunk, what the heck, just don't drive or hurt someone else. The opening of our mental institutions really seemed to increase our homeless population. Also our media and the information age we live in has brought this information to the forefront raising our conciousness of it. As a kid in a very rural area, we had a homeless lady that lived in her car. Everyone knew her. She drove that car to the PO once a week and every so often would see her in town at the grocery but she wouldn't go in until near closing when it was empty. No one bothered her and she bothered no one. Her family did something with her during winter, will have to ask mom and dad some time. We all need to walk in the other's shoes before we make concrete comments. We are basing their lifestyles on our current way of life. Also, as a sidenote, twenty some years ago when I started teaching it was all about "alcohol fetal syndrome". It was going to be the teaching nightmare. Well let me tell you, the effects of meth on newborns and children living in the homes of this drug being produced hasn't even been measured yet. The mental state of our population will decrease and it won't be the result of their poor choices. Many times it is the choices of those that were in charge that created these terrible situations. Like me, they may prefer their "way of life" over yours. Just a few thoughts crossing my weak mind.
 
My house is unfinished, my vehicles paid for, horses in one pasture, cows and calves in others. My pond is not completed, the spoil (dirt dug out of the pond) is piled along the West bank, my dogs bark, my rooster crows, my cats hunt in the fields and sometimes on the neighbors property. Guess what, yep, a couple of neighbors down the road think I am poor. Poor from poor choices. Poor from wasting money. Poor from wasting time. Poor from whatever they deem the reason as they pass my small farm on the way to and from their fancy mortages in their fancy unpaid for vehicles, racing to and fro trying to make ends meet and pay their bills. Yep, I work at a different pace than most of the world. I use a team of horses for many jobs. I choose to be home to feed my woodstove to heat my home, I choose to spend time with my family shooting guns in our back pasture into that "spoil" pile. Yep, I choose to eat my own home raised beef, pork and chicken. I know for a fact that some people in my neighborhood regard me with little respect. Phooey on them. They seem to have no problem knocking on my door for handouts for their pet projects. Yep, my house isn't the type to get the tax man in a lather for measuring and figuring, but you know what, it is what is important to me, a HOME. A home is different than a house. We host many outings here for many things, hey any reason to get together and eat and shoot the bull!!!! A buddy I don't see often enough drives intercity delivery truck told me a few years back, the fancy houses in the big city had a subdivision of multi million dollar homes, BMW's parked in the drives. Well he was told and didn't believe until one day he parked his truck and walked around the houses, many, he said more than 2 out of 10, had no furniture or plastic lawn furniture inside them!!! Yep, all show, no go. So, my lifestyle might not be your lifestyle. I am not abusing my kids or wife or animals. But many would love to see me change. Thankfully, most that have taken the time to know me, see past the "picture" and know I am somewhat honest and do stand by my friends.

Jonathan, we could be neighbors. I live the same type of lifestyle. Good post.
 
My house is unfinished, my vehicles paid for, horses in one pasture, cows and calves in others. My pond is not completed, the spoil (dirt dug out of the pond) is piled along the West bank, my dogs bark, my rooster crows, my cats hunt in the fields and sometimes on the neighbors property. Guess what, yep, a couple of neighbors down the road think I am poor. Poor from poor choices. Poor from wasting money. Poor from wasting time. Poor from whatever they deem the reason as they pass my small farm on the way to and from their fancy mortages in their fancy unpaid for vehicles, racing to and fro trying to make ends meet and pay their bills. Yep, I work at a different pace than most of the world. I use a team of horses for many jobs. I choose to be home to feed my woodstove to heat my home, I choose to spend time with my family shooting guns in our back pasture into that "spoil" pile. Yep, I choose to eat my own home raised beef, pork and chicken. I know for a fact that some people in my neighborhood regard me with little respect. Phooey on them. They seem to have no problem knocking on my door for handouts for their pet projects. Yep, my house isn't the type to get the tax man in a lather for measuring and figuring, but you know what, it is what is important to me, a HOME. A home is different than a house. We host many outings here for many things, hey any reason to get together and eat and shoot the bull!!!! A buddy I don't see often enough drives intercity delivery truck told me a few years back, the fancy houses in the big city had a subdivision of multi million dollar homes, BMW's parked in the drives. Well he was told and didn't believe until one day he parked his truck and walked around the houses, many, he said more than 2 out of 10, had no furniture or plastic lawn furniture inside them!!! Yep, all show, no go. So, my lifestyle might not be your lifestyle. I am not abusing my kids or wife or animals. But many would love to see me change. Thankfully, most that have taken the time to know me, see past the "picture" and know I am somewhat honest and do stand by my friends.
I say this not to be mean or demean anything anyone has typed on the subject. I have family that has made very poor choices. Drugs, alcohol, jail/prison, repeated trips to prison. If they stay drunk, what the heck, just don't drive or hurt someone else. The opening of our mental institutions really seemed to increase our homeless population. Also our media and the information age we live in has brought this information to the forefront raising our conciousness of it. As a kid in a very rural area, we had a homeless lady that lived in her car. Everyone knew her. She drove that car to the PO once a week and every so often would see her in town at the grocery but she wouldn't go in until near closing when it was empty. No one bothered her and she bothered no one. Her family did something with her during winter, will have to ask mom and dad some time. We all need to walk in the other's shoes before we make concrete comments. We are basing their lifestyles on our current way of life. Also, as a sidenote, twenty some years ago when I started teaching it was all about "alcohol fetal syndrome". It was going to be the teaching nightmare. Well let me tell you, the effects of meth on newborns and children living in the homes of this drug being produced hasn't even been measured yet. The mental state of our population will decrease and it won't be the result of their poor choices. Many times it is the choices of those that were in charge that created these terrible situations. Like me, they may prefer their "way of life" over yours. Just a few thoughts crossing my weak mind.

Jonathan,
I think Poor is relative... I read somewhere that the richest man is the man who needs the least... I grew up the son of a share cropper... always had food on the table, house to live in, often had to share a bedroom with two sisters, but at least I had a bed.. we always had work to do, clean clothes even if sometimes they were patched... but I didn't know I poor growing up until my mom told me about it after I was grown and out on my own...
I've never been one to worry about material things.. they are things,
the real riches are family, friends and love... sounds like you are a rich man to me.

That said, I still believe the homeless are homeless because they choose to be... maybe they are richer than we know.. it's not for me to say, nor for me to judge.
 
One other thing comes to mind about the job at hand. If I am on the streets living day to day I may not want to have a hundred bucks in my pocket. I need 10 bucks for today. And the other 90 is going to be beat out of me by some punk. Give me 10 and I don't have to nurse a split lip and a black eye for the next week.:thumb:
 
My brother passed 7 years ago this past December at 43 from a heart attack. He was a certified heat and air man and worked for a major university in the maintenance department. He was one of the smartest people I knew. He could do anything he put his mind too.

To see him you would think he was a rouge. He had long hair that he kept in a pony tail and a big bushy beard. He lived in an old ratty trailer that was ready to fall apart. He drove a ten year old truck he got from me because his junker was about to give out. I'm sure to see him and where he lived you would think he didn't have a pot to pee in.

We bought some land from my uncle and I told him I was going to have it also put in his name. He told me no, he didn't want anything in his name and he knew I would let him do anything he wanted with his part.

It used to kill my mom because of the way he lived. She would often ask me why he didn't "do better". I would tell her to leave him alone he was living how he wanted and didn't have near the stress that most people have. At his funeral people showed up that I never thought would and told of how he had helped them along the way to do something and never asked for anything in return. He was "richer" than most people I know. I guess what I learned from my brother was to not judge a book by it's cover.
 
jon, you live the life you choose, and what you must have missed in my opening post is that I associated these guys downward spiral to their lack of willingness to work. Nothing else.
How one chooses to live is his own business.
I prefer to hunt my meat in the meat aisle of a grocery store. I hope that doesnt mean someone like you wouldnt be my friend because I choose to live a bit different from you.
These guys will be in when its not cold, when they wear out their welcomes with their families, and will be asking me for something then.
Im ticked at them. Not because of how they live, but because they knew I needed something done, and offered them top dollar to do it, but they handled it like theyve handled everything else in their lives, with a well, I have 3 dollars today, Ill worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Life for me isnt that simple.

Donny Bear, thats one shana punim on that kid. Nice avatar.(rob can translate).
 
I find this an interesting discussion. In my hometown, there was one guy who always rode around on his bicycle. He wasn't homeless but his house was definitely derelict for the neighborhood he was in. He had no one that he called a friend and no family alive. No one showed up to his funeral. And the 2.7 million dollars he'd accumulated through penny pinching and who knows how else was left to no one as he had no will.

He was definitely on the extreme edge of those in our society and it's very easy to misunderstand those who have different values. I have a few family members who could easily fall into this category if it weren't for family keeping them in a home. The common theme for them is that they have no self-control for moderation. The only reason they'll leave the bar before closing is if they have no money. My uncle once told me that going to the bar with too much money would be the equivalent of committing suicide. The only moderation skills he has found that work are laziness and feigned disinterest in society's expectations.

I absolutely agree, it's frustrating and maddening to have such decency of good paying work treated with such disregard. But to many, your offer was little more than a loaded gun. Best advice I can give is to agree with what they ask and offer to split it out over a number of days if it's a larger sum. What has gotten them to where they're at is the inability to manage their resources and spreading it out will help them as well.
 
You have heard the line "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." I always tell people that the horse is going to drink or it's going to drown cause I'm dunking his head until he makes up his mind. :D

We humans have free will and that will never change. However I have seen great success with people if you help them find hope and self respect and a reason to live. Of course many people suffer from mental disorders and the only success I've seen with all of the above has occurred in immersion programs. These programs were church run and it's an intensive life style involving lots of prayer and counseling that happens all day long while work is being done. They were out in the country working in a farm type atmosphere. There is something about fresh air and hard work and gentle charity that people respond to. But they have to put themselves there. There is somewhat of a shock when your whole life style changes but it's a good shock. They must feel like they are part of a family. I have learned never to judge a person because of how they act or how they look. I didn't walk in their shoes.

I fear the wreckage in the lives of our returning veterans and figure there will be many broken warriors in need of help in the coming years. I figure I owe them any help I can give.

Woodworking can be a worthy salve for these type of people. It is good to work with your hands doing something creative and there is the satisfaction of completing projects.
 
Allen, no no, didn't mean we wouldn't be friends. I really tried to put my post in perspective so you didn't feel "tromped" on, it is just a reflection of my life style and others perception. It is comical, each year at the start of school, the teachers will sit around and talk of all the places they went to during the summer. Someone always ends up asking me where I went, I always say, "stayed home". They always feel compelled to say, "I'm sorry". Then I reply, "don't be sorry, anyday I don't have to leave my farm is a day of heaven on earth for me!". Yes, I know your frustration. When I used to sell hay, had horsepeople that would buy one week's worth of hay each and every week! I tried to get them to help during baling, would sell it to them cheaper (because of their labor/help) as well as store their share in my barn! Nope, they wanted to bother me each and every week, usually at supper time, after I had taught all day and done evening chores. Oh well. I agree that the offer of a hundred dollars probably overwhelmed them. They might not know what to do for that much, they might have been scared the job was to much for them if it was worth that much money. Sorry you had to do the job, had I been around, would have found a student for you to use!!!! :thumb:
 
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